Saturday, March 10, 2012

I’m Pregnant...

  Ok…not really… only figuratively… but pregnant is exactly how I feel! (If you've never been pregnant, you may have a hard time following me but for those of you who have experienced the incredible journey of pregnancy, you’ll know exactly what I mean.)  I have extreme joy and anticipation in knowing what is to come but right now I am enduring some growing pains…
  I have this most awesome calling from God to go & serve with my family in a distant, strange, unfamiliar area to see Him work first-hand.  While that is the coolest thing ever, I am VERY aware that the things that will take place over the next 9 months will not at all be easy or comfortable.  Although the confidence of my calling doesn’t change, my feelings change from day to day and sometimes several times within one day..(I know.. poor John.. right?!?)  Anyway, some days are just harder than others like within a pregnancy… in the first few months of pregnancy some of us get very sick and just feel like ‘t-total-crap’.  That doesn't mean that our excitement has ceased or that we don’t get giddy at the sound of that heartbeat but the discomfort is very present. 
  Right now, I’m feeling every bit of the “1st trimester”.  I lose it some days just turning on my water facet or standing in the hot shower knowing that in a few months I won’t have these “luxuries” at my fingertips like I do now.  When I put left-overs in the refrigerator I think about the possibility of not even having a refrigerator.  When I turn on the sound machines at night while tucking in the kiddos I know that while there will BE some sounds resonating, it won’t necessarily be what we’re accustomed to.  And I just quite honestly cannot get past the fact that my days are very limited with my 4-legged children.  I don’t know whether to squeeze them every minute I can or distance myself in preparation.  So I do both… I try to be strong and I keep myself busy and then I cave and I hold them like I’m never going to hold them again while talking to them through my tears.  Yep, talking out loud like they can understand every word I am saying.  I am trying to relish every moment I have with them… sleeping with my cat curled up right next to me, running in the back yard with our larger dogs, stretching out on the floor with our small pony of a dog and scooping up my smaller dog any chance I get…
(sigh)
  I ran across an old journal entry today after having a minor meltdown and I don’t think it was coincidental…  Here’s what it said:
(June 14, 2011) “Sometimes, you’ll have to sacrifice certain things in order to obey God. But it’s better to do that than to ignore His voice, live stressed out, forfeit His blessing, and end up getting nowhere.  Sometimes God will require things of you that:
1.       He doesn’t seem to require of others
2.       He won’t explain and you can’t understand
3.       When you’ve obeyed, you won’t immediately see the benefits.  But if you’re convinced that He loves you & has a plan for your life, you’ll surrender to Him in trust, knowing that in the end it will “go well with you”-(Deut 5:29)
His purpose for our trials is often to bring us humbly before Him to experience a breaking in our inner, independent self-sufficient selves and grow us up into compassionate, patient, spiritually strong, God-glorifying people. He uses these situations to teach us how to trust that He loves and cares for us enough to get us through the tough times.”

Wow.. thank you, God, for the reminders and thank you that you are purposeful about wanting me to become who you created me to be - through the pain and all!  
“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are NOT consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new EVERY morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.  The LORD is good to those whose hope is IN HIM, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for…the LORD.” Lamentations 3:21-26

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Crazy..

Crazy(from Webster's Dictionary): unsound of mind; mentally unbalanced or deranged; psychopathic; insane 

You've thought it, we've thought it.... you might even be thinking it now....

Are we crazy?  We're going to do what?  Move outside of the country?  With our children?  
Are we crazy in love with the One we call Savior?  Are we willing to be crazy radical?  Are we crazy enough to follow Christ at any cost?  Man, I hope so... cause if we're not, we are failing at this thing called life and THAT we refuse to do...  

I Refuse (by Josh Wilson)
Sometimes I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not
This world needs God, but it's easier to stand and watch
I could pray a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong
     But I Refuse
I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
     But I refuse
I can hear the least of these, crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet of You, oh God
So if You say move, it's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who You are
I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
     But I refuse
I refuse to stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back and try and act like all is well
I refuse to stay unchanged, to wait another day to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse
I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
I could choose not to move
     But I refuse

And so the journey begins...

We are excited to tell you about an amazing journey… one that we feel very passionately about sharing with each of you. While our wish is that we could sit down and talk to you personally, we know that is not possible since you are scattered all over the country. 

Dawn and I have always shared a heart for missions. Individually we felt that tug as children through various avenues.  Then, God brought us together as we prepared for more mission work in college.  In fact, we met at orientation for Summer Missions while attending MSU in 1995.  God has continued to give us opportunities to serve Him in different ways over the years, both locally and internationally.

While serving as the Missions Pastor at LifeBridge Church, John has had the opportunity to travel to the community of Camp Coq, Haiti on five different mission trips. Our church works with an orphanage and church in the community there. Dawn has felt the call to go to Haiti since before John’s first trip in 2009, but due to our last pregnancy and taking care of the children she has yet to be able to go. In spite of the fact she has not been, God continues to grow our passion & our heart for the community of Camp Coq.  Over the last year we’ve felt an unexplainable call to go & serve Him in Haiti on a full time basis.  For now, we are working towards a move date in January 2013.

We know that as you read this you have a ton of questions. Don’t feel alone in that! We ourselves have a ton of questions that we don’t have the answers to right now. We are in the process of researching and praying for answers, but also resting in the fact that God has called us to this and we are confident that He has already worked out every detail.  We trust that He will continue to reveal answers in His time frame and that is sufficient for us.


As we continue to work through things and as details are revealed, we will share them with you.  We plan to develop a blog so that we can share updates on a regular basis.  Please know that our number one need from each of you at this point is prayer, prayer, prayer and more prayer.  J  We ask that you would pray for our family as we prepare to go and that God would continue to show us the details we need to be concerned with and also spare us the details that we need not be concerned with.

Thank you for your love and support over the years.  We look forward to taking this journey with you!

John & Dawn