LOOK, LOOK, LOOK

WOW!!!!!  

I am in tears!!!  

Although I just bragged on Sean Dodds and he went and posted pictures of my new home to the public before I got to see them, I am crying happy tears and I forgive him...  :)

Look at what's been done to the Mission House since July..............

WE HAVE TILE FLOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEAUTIFUL TILE FLOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYY!!!!

Oh My GOD is so stinkin' amazing!!!!!

Packing, Loading, Traveling... (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1, you can see that here: Packing, Loading, Traveling... (Part 1) 

Ok, so fast forward 10 days and we were gearing up for John to leave again.  (He and Sean were planning to fly to Haiti today actually but due to Hurricane Sandy their plans changed.)

  

Are you noticing the patterns of change or is it just me?  :)   

flexibility = better chance of sanity or something close to it!

Though I miss John terribly, I'm really grateful that the guys followed their insight (from what I believe was God, himself) and left 3 days early with the intent of reaching Haiti without having any delays due to the storms.  I have heard multiple news reports tonight on the radio about business shut-downs (including airports) where they were scheduled to travel.  God is good!!!

With the change in travel plans, they did arrive in Haiti safe and sound on the 27th.  Yay!!!!!  They stayed 2 nights in Port-au-Prince where they found a familiar place to dine...

Complete with delivery service, ha!

Anyway, they were able to stay at the Mission House (where John and I stayed in June) in P-A-P Saturday and Sunday night.  They shopped for groceries and got a rental car and headed to Camp Coq today.  John was hopeful for a 2-3 hour drive but when he called this afternoon he said -not including the one wrong turn they took- the trip was a little over 5 hours long.  He sounded completely wiped out so extra prayers for them tonight would be great!!!

We are hopeful that our things that left Miami by ship on Thursday, the 25th, will arrive and go through customs with ease in the next couple of days.  We welcome your prayers for that, as well!

If you feel so inclined, PLEASE be in prayer regarding the container of our belongings in general... we are praying that it arrives with 'no issues' and that all of our things are accounted for and undamaged.  Also please pray that the fees that we will have to pay to get the things out of customs will be minimal.  We have heard of others having to pay as much as $10,000 just to get the things that belonged to them out of customs in the recent past.  

Different country... different "rules".  

Over the last couple of weeks I have thought about it all, worried about most of it all, confessed my worry, stressed over every possibility, let go of my stress and picked it back up only to lay it down again and have come to this:  God is in control and He has a plan regardless of what happens in the next few days.  

Do I hope we get everything back that we sent for the least amount of money possible?  Yessiree but if we do not, I know our God has a plan.  My job is to trust Him and let Him handle the rest.  I do better at this 'job' some days than I do on others but tonight I am so tired I am going to rest with "it's all good".

John and Sean are scheduled to be gone for the next 2 weeks.  During that time, they plan to get things ready for our arrival in January.  They will be installing the solar panels, kits and "such things".   !!Please, please excuse my less-than-technical terminologies but my brain is completely fried lately!!!  :/ 

I will try to keep you updated as I get more information.  In the meantime, please continue to pray for us as a family.  It's hard to be separated so much but we know that it's only a matter of weeks before our dream will be unfolding before our very eyes thanks to the One who placed this in our hearts to begin with!  

We have lots of 'hard things' left to do in the following 9 weeks but as we take it one day at a time, we trust all will be as it is supposed to be.  Does that even make sense?  My head hurts trying to put my thoughts into words tonight...ugh...life has been hard lately and it seems that all I can "see" some days are the struggles.  I will, however, choose to cling to what I know and that is that God is EVERYTHING He has promised He will be... He is sufficient and He is faithful!   

I've got to get some sleep but before I close I want to say thank you!  Thank you, God, for being in control when we are anything but!

Thank you to YOU who are faithful to follow us and pray for us and love us, even some from a distance.  We treasure you more than you know!!!!!

Thank you to our family who have (for the most part) been in prayer day in and day out and completely supportive.

Thank you to our closest friends who have rallied around us over the last 9 months and have loved us through some difficult days.  You are family to us, as well!

Thank you to LifeBridge Church who continues to be our cheerleaders and supporters in many ways!

Thank you to so many who are being the hands and feet to our family during this time!  You are blessing us now for sure but your generosity now will continue to bless others for time to come, you have our word on that and HIS (Genesis 12:3)! 

And last but not least, thank you to Sean Dodds!  I am so grateful for him and his family and their love for us and our family and the countless hours they have put into making this journey a reality!!!  I am thrilled that John is not traveling alone this week or working alone or figuring out new things alone!  I am moved by this family's sacrificial giving and dedication to physically walk with us!  

We are Blessed, Indeed!  

"...when you go through deep waters...I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.  For I am the Lord, your God...you are precious to me.  You are honored, and I love you.  Do not be afraid, for I am with you." Isaiah 43:1-5

Packing, Loading, Traveling... (Part 1)

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind but I know you want to know what's been going on so here's a peek at some of the events from 5.on.a.journey in October....

We had to bump up the dates for shipping our furniture so the moving truck was picked up on the 12th and with help from many friends, we were able to get our things loaded that weekend.

"brotherly love"...

After some major emotional roller coasters...

...the truck was packed and the guys were ready to roll!

One more stop to get the car hauler and then they'd be on their way......

John and Joey left Madison on Sunday, the 14th, headed to FL to unload our things, including our Montero Sport, and reload them onto the shipping container that is currently in transit via water.

BUT they couldn't leave town without first making a food run...

...and then they were finally ready to depart!

After a party in the Penske (smiles).....

...they arrived in Miami, FL on Monday and Sean joined them for the reloading fun!  :)

Tuesday morning they unpacked the Penske and loaded the shipping container... 

 Meanwhile back home, we were settling in with air mattresses and a couple of loaner sofas...

**Making sense of the leftovers with no dresser drawers and makeshift window treatments has taken a little getting-used-to but we are making it just fine! ;) **

After a few exhausting days Sean made it home early afternoon on the 17th and a after a couple of flight switch-a-roos, John and Joey made it back home that same evening and all the wives and children said, "AMEN!" :)

True love...

Keep them coming...

I'm struggling today... down to the last 24 hours of packing/loading... I was super busy yesterday and didn't stop long enough to 'feel'.  We had some super helpers here working hard and we had a wonderful dinner with some of our closest peeps last night... it was an all around good day!

Today, I can't help but feel.  I am sad about what I am having to give up.  Though I stand to gain so much more, I am sad about what I'm losing and what I will lose in the next couple of months, too.  

Man, this is hard!

The piles that I have shifted from one location to the other because I didn't want to have to 'deal' with them are staring me in the face this morning.  I got up at 5am and started packing but by 6am I was back in bed.  The bed we have to load today.

The walls are bare in most rooms and there are half packed boxes in each because when it gets hard, I shift to the next one.  Ugh, I feel so torn...  I have got to get finished!  I know this!!!  Please pray for me today..for all of us today.

Please pray that I can let go of the things I won't need even though some of them represent years of memories!  Letting go is extremely hard and not something I've ever been good at.

Our rabbits left earlier this week headed to their new home.  Sam, our Great Pyrenees,  is not doing well physically.  He didn't get up much at all yesterday and he's usually quite vocal when so many people are going in and out of the house.  Winston, our West Highland Terrier, paces a good bit - knowing things aren't "normal".

I am grieving now but know I that I will be celebrating all of our new adventures soon.

I remain grateful for your prayers...PLEASE keep them coming!

4 days

4 days…4…days…

 Everything we plan to take with us to Haiti has to be packed and loaded by Sunday of this week…… yes…IN…FOUR…DAYS…I woke up at 4:30 this morning with racing thoughts of how I plan/intend/hope to get the rest of it all done in the allotted time. 

I continue to be amazed at how directly God speaks in the midst of our current ‘situations’ through my daily devotionals. 

(smiles)  

This is what mine said today:

            “Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting Love. My Love-Light never dims, yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is the subtle sin-so common that it usually slips by unnoticed. 

            The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself. Don’t divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require My help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently."

Psalm 37:3-6, “Trust in the LORD and do good.  Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.  Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you your heart's desires.  Commit everything you do to the LORD.  Trust Him, and He will help you.  He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun."

Philippians 4:19, "And this same God who God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."

Restless...

I really tried to catch up on some much needed rest tonight by going to bed early.  I actually went to bed around 8:30!  For this night owl, that is E.A.R.L.Y…anyway, wasn’t long after I got into bed that I started attempting to avoid some of those feelings I blogged about last night in Wo-o-o-o feelings  so I started playing a game on my phone.  After a little conversation with John, I started feeling really anxious cause the feelings I was trying to avoid were creeping up-way too close for comfort-and it wasn’t long before I shut down in conversation all together but kept playing the game (no pun intended)…  When that got old, I checked my messages on FaceBook and then as it got close to 10 o’clock I shut the phone and lights off and tried to go to sleep.  (John was already asleep for those of you wondering if I left him up in the dark.)  Wasn’t long until Hershey (my cat) came and settled in…in my face.  (He’s never satisfied with lying near my feet or at my back but always wants to settle as close as he can to my face/neck area.)  A lot of the feelings I was working so hard to avoid tonight had to do with him and our (2) other four-legged, furry kids so his ever-so-close presence wasn’t helping.  I scooted him over [twice] and he came right back [twice]…now purring…

It’s after 11 o’clock and I can’t sleep so here I am… not resting…

*WARNING: This post may contain material that is unsuitable for readers seeking only happy, frilly, ‘warm & fuzzy’ posts.*

Losing my good friend, Jana, over a week ago was hard for very obvious reasons but extra hard because I think I saw it as the beginning of many goodbyes lurking in my near future.  Goodbyes I wasn’t ready to face.  Not a week ago and not now.  Our close family that is currently within short driving distance will soon be an expensive, full-day’s air-travel-distance away.  Extended family will be farther away than ever before and friends that seem like family will be distant, as well.  Then there are the final goodbyes… my furry children are such a huge part of life as I know it.  Right now one of the biggest hurdles I'm struggling with is losing them.  If you aren’t a pet person, I don’t expect you to understand but these feelings that I have tried to walk around for the last 7 months regarding my pets are exactly the reason I tried to bargain with God years ago when I told him I’d ‘go’ if He ever ‘called’ as long as I didn’t have to give up my pets… for the rich young ruler it was his wealth, for me it was my animal kiddos. I find solace in the fact that I will see family and friends again.  I’ll be able to talk to them (hopefully face-to-face some) with technology but leaving my pets behind means I’m potentially telling them goodbye forever.  Sam, Winston and Hershey (and Mischief before she passed away almost 2 years ago) were my ‘children’ before we had children.  They have been such a big part of my life for over 14 years and quite frankly the thought of having to “interview” people to see who gets to take my pets infuriates me.  I cannot wrap my brain around how I’m supposed to even begin this “search” for new pet-parents for MY pets...pets that I don’t want to give up.  I have tried so hard to face the facts and be ok with this but I’m just not.  Maybe this is stuff you don’t want to know and quite frankly I’m not sure I want some of you to know either but since “there’s more room out than there is in”, I’m leaking…and maybe my transparency won’t be used against me later…

SIDE NOTE: If you’ve asked me about finding homes for them lately and I’ve been less than friendly in my response, I do apologize.  Please don’t take it personal…it’s really my problem, not anything you’ve done.  I met someone last week that had been reading our blog and they asked me if I had found homes for the dogs yet.  I thought I was going to come ‘unglued’ for sure.  I was barely dealing with the loss of my friend and then they wanted to discuss that.  I didn't mean to be rude but I think I walked away without ever really answering the question completely.  

Anyway, I know I’m weird... ok, whatever…I just get really, really, really attached to animals and it literally takes my breath to discuss me moving and leaving mine behind.  2 of my furry kids were birthday gifts to me from John so I guess this is his fault.  (Just kidding, dear!)  Seriously, I know to some my laying next to a grown dog (who, when stretched out is taller than me) is crazy but somehow I feel that if I hold him close enough he won’t disappear.  He's way past his prime and I'm not sure he'll reach his 11th birthday.  Considering his breed has a 8-9 year life expectancy, he's done well!  I selfishly hope I will be able to see him through his last days but only God knows...

Having a cat like my Hershey that has an ‘inner voice’ telling him when I’m struggling and needing a physical presence beside me is unbelievable but actual!  He always seems to be there..even at 4am when I was journaling in my closet about going to Haiti almost a year ago before I shared all my thoughts with John.  He followed me tonight when I got out of bed BTW, and aside from taking a midnight snack break, has been with me while I've been blogging.  

And then there's my Prince Winston…  I’ve never met a more faithful companion than my Winston!  I feel like I’ve been to hell and back a couple of times over the last 15 years and he has been there through it all and still prefers me to any other.  

    Do I still feel like God has called us to move to Haiti? Yes 

    Am I mad at God?  Not at the moment.. I have been angry but I know Him well enough to know He would never call me to do something that isn't for the best in the long run.

    Am I excited about our move and our new adventures in Haiti?  Yes, yes! 

    Am I excited about leaving behind these creatures that I love? Absolutely not!

I just can’t do it, God… I cannot draw the line and cross it…I am not able, God…not in my own strength...I cannot look at them and tell them after 10 ½ to 14 ½ years that I’m leaving them…for good…for another life…an unfamiliar life…
           

Ughghghgh..... By admitting my "issue", I am taking a step and asking… a small step, yes, but I’m asking… not for you to tell me about a friend who has a friend who knows a girl who’s interested in looking at one of my pets BUT asking for some of you to commit to pray with me/for me regarding a goodbye I don’t want to embrace.  Sometimes I feel ridiculous since I’m literally losing sleep over something that seems so huge to me yet pales GREATLY in comparison to what others around me are going through.  But as much as I’d like to believe that it’s not that big a deal, to me.... it is.  It is my monster…it is my joy robber and my giant.  You and I may be in different places and maybe you’d gladly swap “issues” with me but either way, I read tonight in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 where Paul wrote this, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  I am at a standstill.. I don't know how God is going to "work this for my good" as He says in Romans 8 but I trust Him.  I trust that He is who He says He is and that means He is the Father of compassion.  I believe that He is growing me and I believe that my relationship with Him is reaching new levels.  Doesn't mean that I have to like it or be happy about my call to sacrifice... but then admitting that, that doesn't mean that I'm not happy about the adventures that lie ahead on the other side of my sacrifice, either.  I have always said I was so grateful I didn't live in Bible times where animal sacrifices were customary...while this is not the same, I feel like it is definitely similar.  ...sigh...