My heart races as I remember.
With our 2 year old 'tiny boss', 5 year old 'lover of all' and 9 year
old 'life explorer' out front we left Mississippi in route to Haiti 4 years ago
today.
After pushing through the worst spiritual battles to date,
we were weary but prepared and anxious to start the next chapter. We boarded
our first flight knowing that people all over the US, and even a few outside the
States, were covering us in prayer.
We could only hope that the obstacles leading up to that
day would give way to God’s ultimate plan as we answered the call to serve full-time
in a foreign country. And as our new journey began we prayed over, around and
through the tasks before us while continually asking God to show us what He
wanted to do through us while we were in Haiti. We knew He had incredible plans in
store but what we didn’t realize then was how much work He would do in us while He was working through us.
Y’all, I’ve wrestled so much this last year to find words
and even complete thoughts regarding where we were vs. where we are and the in-between and how/what I'm feeling through it all.
God has been stirring my heart a lot in recent months to remember...the joy, the pain, the exhilaration, the risks, the rewards, the mistakes, the lessons, all of it...the incredible 'life' that's happened as we've circled Haiti. He's used it all to shape me and make me who I am today but I've struggled to find a way to share in the processing.
I haven’t written in so long.
When I did open my computer it was as if I'd forgotten how to write.
But today I felt like I needed to blow the dust off the keyboard and give it a go.
Maybe through my sharing you will see/hear something you need but maybe it's just what I need to do to continue healing. We lost a lot over the last few years but today I am choosing to end this memorable day by giving thanks for what we gained.
When we moved 4 years ago we were journeying as 5 but today I am pausing to give praise for us, as 6.
Our move back to the States last year proved to be much harder and
scarier than the move TO Haiti but God parted waters and moved mountains when He blessed us with a 4th child in April of 2013.
I want to be present this year and notice all the things that we've gained. There's a time to mourn and a time to rejoice, a time to be silent and a time to share. So I'm venturing back into the sharing realm and taking note of how HE, the One who never once left us, GAVE.
He keeps blessing us right here in the middle of our brokenness and quest for discernment.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and
gorgeous at the end.”
At least that’s what Robin Sharma said.
I still feel like I'm somewhere in the middle but I’m pretty stoked about the
view God's providing in the change.
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| Tonight's sunset at home...because only God knows. (01.17.17) |