I had other plans today...

Today it’s raining and windy and many of our close friends and family are stuck in the middle of some icky weather conditions, keeping them from their own homes.  Because of ‘Isaac’ , some are experiencing loss of power, temporary loss of homes and some are reliving some terrible memories from their time with Hurricane Katrina.  My heart is heavy for them today. 

We are fortunate that we’ve not had any major inconveniences due to this storm but my plans have been interrupted, none the less.  Today, I was supposed to go see my friends, Jana & Brad.  

For those of you who know them well, you know that this last month has been anything but easy for them and not a day goes by without gratitude for that day.  For those of you who don’t know them, they are 2 of my favorite people & they’ve been fighting a battle with cancer since December 13, 2007 when Jana was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  In January of 2008, she had surgery and the tumor was removed.  It was a benign Oligodendroglioma.  She was such a trooper!  Her strength and her attitude were unbelievable!  Seizures continued after that surgery so she had another surgery in December of 2008 to treat the seizures and to remove any additional tumor cells.  She was seizure free for over 2 years and during that time they moved to New York.  Seizures returned in April of 2011 and tests revealed a new tumor.  She went through rigorous treatments including Radiation and Chemotherapy but she never lost her contagious love for life.  

The last 2 years have been full of ups and downs.  They moved closer to “home” in May when a job opportunity opened up for Brad in Louisiana.  The last 2 months have been full of challenges and recent MRI’s showed tumor progression.  She’s been staying with her parents in MS lately since she’s needed a little extra help and can’t be alone during the days that Brad is at work.  I was able to go visit with her last week which was great!  I'm a little bummed that I can't go today!  I can’t tell you enough about how much these 2 mean to me… but I’m going to try!

I can honestly say I’ve never met a sweeter spirited yet stronger person than Jana!  Have you ever heard the story of the silversmith and the process of refining silver…you know, the one about him having to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are the hottest to burn away all the impurities, making it shine so beautifully?  Jana is very much like silver…she’s been through fire after fire with her battle of brain cancer… and she’s most definitely gotten more beautiful with every added degree of heat.  She’s been through some junk over the last 4+ years that would make anyone angry and hard to be around but through it all I continue to be amazed at her outlook and attitude.  She is a princess but she is not a complainer!
: ) 
Last year when I went to visit them in New York, we made lots of incredible memories and swore we had to make getting together a higher priority from then on!!!

She flew back to MS with me so she could visit with her parents for a bit.  While she was there she planned to sing with her dad at his church so she practiced on the plane (well, she listened to the song over and over, soaking it in).  You know what song she chose to sing???  “It is Well With My Soul”… Now I’ve heard that song since I was a child but suddenly it meant something more to me…  Knowing this was the song she selected, I thought, "how perfect", because she has truly taught me to sing “It is Well With My Soul” and mean it!   I just wish I could've been there to hear her sing it!  

Last week, when I went to see her, we watched one of our favorite movies together and ate skittles.  She's lost her voice over the last couple of weeks and when she has strength to say something it's very soft and hard to understand.  She kept trying to tell me something and the only thing I could make out at first was, "Sam".  That part was pretty clear and after several attempts she got enough out that I got what she was saying.  It was all I could do not to fall apart...  You see, she knows me so well... she knows that while I am so stinkin' excited about our upcoming move to Haiti, I have been torn up about having to part with my pets prior to our move.  I haven't 'ironed out' all the details regarding our pets because it's been the one thing I can't seem to do...planning to part with them is necessary but not welcomed and finding homes for pets you don't want to part with is no easy task.  Anyway, a top concern of hers (for a while, so I'm told) has been placement of my furry babies when we leave the States.  She wanted me to know that she had already discussed plans with Brad to intercede with adopting my 'kids'.  This made me chuckle and I told her she knew as well as I did that Brad Webb was NOT going to take my 3 furry 'kids' in no matter how much I cried or how much she pleaded...  and then we both agreed that he loves me but he just doesn't love me that much! : )   
And that leads me to Brad……
Brad… cantankerous, feisty, smartyfarty, and a little intimidating at times but also...Brad, who is genuine, generous and true.  He has a hard outer shell but good as gold on the inside!  (I really didn’t mean to use metal analogies when starting this post but hey, it seems to fit!)  Anyway, Brad is one of those guys that you don’t know exactly how to read all the time but always comes through as the companion you want on your side no matter what you’re going through in life.  While I can't begin to fully understand what he's been through, I know that this battle against Jana’s cancer has been anything but easy on him.  Through it all he has provided, entertained and even pampered her (and some of her friends, as well).  He is the keeper of Jana’s heart and has always been her first pick from any line-up, even up against Drew Brees (smiles).  He is the life of the party and the one who stays after to clean up the party, too.  He is just a ‘good ole boy’ if you know what I mean!
After one of my stays with them in NY, I left this for them on the fridge...  it just seemed fitting!
       “FRIENDS… they love you,

               But they’re not your lover

               …they care for you,

               But they’re not from your family

               …they’re ready to share your pain,

               But they’re not your blood relation

         They are….  FRIENDS!"

I'm so honored that I can count them as my friends!  

I have NBLFY, Brad & Jana!  Can't wait to see you again...here's to many more "cuppas"!  
    

Dreaming and Imagining...

As the washing machine and the dryer are running in the background, Veggie Tales is playing on the TV in the living room and my favorite music is on in the kitchen.  My "Sambo", our ‘larger-than-most’ dog, is lying at my feet and I am enjoying watching the trees in the back yard blow in the wind.  (For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting Sam, here's a picture of him & Kylie when she was younger so you can see his size.)

Sooner than later, I won’t have a washing machine or a dryer or a TV or my pets.  While I’m going to miss the things that make up my current everyday life, (some things more than others!) today I am dreaming of what is to come…  I know how excited I was when I met the orphans and the local families in Camp Coq for the first time 
and I can only imagine how cool the introductions between our kiddos and those that will become our extended family are going to be.
  
I envision Caleb and Jeff and LuLu embarking on several excursions and making creative projects.

I can’t wait for game nights and dress up time with Kylie and Dalinda…

and sharing silly songs and watching Kinley chase chickens and mocking the roosters will surely be great entertainment! 

While I know that change is almost always anything but easy, I’m quite certain that the break from the comforts we are accustomed to will only be a blessing when it’s all said and done.  The relationships that have already begun and those that are to come....hmm, I think God has some great things in store for us and there's a part of me that cannot wait to embrace those things!   

(heehee....“I Can Only Imagine” by MercyMe just came on the radio in the kitchen!  Ha… I’m seriously giddy………)

As we continue to plan and make arrangements for things like having a benefit garage sale in October, getting our house ready for the next owners, sorting through our belongings and shipping things we will need from here to there, we need your prayers for things to go as smoothly as possible.  John is currently working on some detailed “reports” so we can keep you up to date on the ‘business side’ of the move.  As soon as we have those details together, we will share that with you, as well.  We love you and we appreciate your petitions for our family! 

“Blessed are your eyes because they see,” Jesus said, “and your ears because they hear.” Matthew 13:16

Words...past & present...

There are so many things I want to share today but since my time is limited while blogging I’m snagging this moment and will try to make it ‘brief’… 
I found some old things this weekend while cleaning out (more) and sorting (more)… Among my findings was a loose journal entry.  It was from August 2, 2001…4040 days ago!  John and I were living in the Dallas, TX area at the time.  In part, it said this,

“Thank you that you don’t ever give up on us, no matter how long it takes us to ‘get it’ sometimes.  Lord, speak to my heart and let me know what you want me to do with my life.  I want to please you.  I want to be used by you.  I want to go where you want me to go.  Please guide us as we have a very important decision to make about where we are to serve you.  We rest in knowing that YOU will pick the place, not us.  Lord, please show us your will, your plan.  Please reveal to us the place where you want us to go and serve you.  Lord, thank you for making a way for us to make it in this world.  You are the way!  Thank you that we have the money we need to pay bills and have food on the table and clothes on our back and sooo much more!  You are the Ultimate Provider.  How awesome you are and how you always provide!!!!”

I am encouraged today that God has had a plan all along and that He holds our every day… today, tomorrow, and even 10+ years from now.  Several people, (family members and non), have expressed a concern over the last few months regarding our safety and our children’s safety with our plans to move to Haiti.  Some of you have been bold enough to share your concerns with us while some of you have let it spread through “the grapevine” :).  Either way, we are grateful that you love us and that you are concerned about us.  We fully believe that the safest place to be is where God has called us – as a family.  We are not able to say that we won’t face dangers in Haiti but we can’t say that we won’t face dangers here, in the States, either.  What we can say is that we believe that by not going where He has called is a danger in itself.  We love that you love us!  We love that you are concerned for our safety and we covet your prayers during this journey.  In Ephesians 1 it says, “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.  Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.  It’s in Christ that you…found yourselves home free.  This…is the first installment on what’s coming, a reminder that we’ll get everything God has planned for us…” (vs11-14)  Just as He has guided our path this far, I believe He will continue to do so as we venture into unfamiliar territory in Haiti. 

A great friend forwarded a devotional to me this morning and it said,

“I heard Your voice, I felt the allure of Your call, and I came out of hiding to follow You into unchartered territory. I came to the threshold of safety, looked behind to the familiar, looked ahead into the dark, and then abandoned myself to the unknown. You have promised that my trust in You will be rewarded. How I hope that my faith tugs at Your heart today. 

I am affirming again that I trust You. I will not look back at some of the bridges that were burned as I crossed over into unchartered territory. I obeyed You and You burned them. But in a weak moment, I see a few bridges that are left. I could go back to where it feels safe and I will admit that this is a great temptation.  But I know the cost. To go where it is familiar, I must let go of Your hand.

I do not know all that You are planning. I could fear but I choose faith. When I could faint, I speak Your promises. When it's dark and feels like the end, I know You are still carving out a new road. Your plans for me are good. You said, "Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isa 43:19) In this, Lord, You excel. You are my God and there is none other. Amen”

Holding on tight…

Dawn