Update

As most of you know, its been 4 years since we committed to leap out of our "knowns" and jump into the "unknowns" of full-time work in Haiti. We've been stretched beyond what we argued we could stand but we've also been blessed more abundantly than we ever dreamed.

Prayers were answered all along the way!  

After 2 years of praying through some pretty hard transitions, we returned to Mississippi last year as an excited, yet exhausted, family of 6 on July 1st for furlough.  We were eager to unwind with family, regroup, and prepare to return to Haiti in January. We prayed for direction and provision for the next step as we traveled and shared about our work. 

So many of you have continued to lift us up through each and every challenge. You're simply amazing! 

At the end of December, 4 of our 6 traveled back to Haiti. Caleb and I returned to Mississippi the middle of January but John stayed and worked with our Heartline Ministries family in Port-au-Prince and Cabila was able to go and visit with some extended family and friends from his 'hometown'. Being apart was really hard as we continued to pray for direction. 

Last month I wrote about delays and travel and disappointment and prayers and waiting and All These Aspects. Praise the Lord, we are all together again but today I write with a heavy heart.

We believe that our family needs to be together wherever we are serving...that's always been our plan. But the thing that's currently leveling me is the plan to return to the States full-time. It's not a decision we've taken lightly but it is a decision that John and I feel God has led us to. The last 8 months have been brutal as we've mapped out what the "next" is supposed to look like. 

We aren't shutting the door on Haiti but we agree that making plans where we have more opportunity to do what's best for our family unit is here right now. My mind knows this but my heart has yet to embrace it. My heart is in Haiti. I don't want to start over here. 

I'm struggling and while I know it's a great risk to put my raw feelings out here in the vast world of social media, I need to ask for your prayers as we begin this process of starting over. 

 

If you are a praying person, would you pray for us?  

This very real, 'say goodbye to where you've been and tell your heart to beat again' kind of feat is upon us.  Will you pray for supernatural relief and provision as we look for employment, vehicles and the right place to relocate and serve?

Another beginning... getting back up...starting over... Oh God - as I type the words I shake...
     It's going to require strength I'm not sure I have.


Clinging to this: "When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, My Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of Me, you can be sure that I'll be there." 

-Matthew 18: 19-20

All these aspects

Delays. They are never easy.



                     When we arrived it was late. 

But we made it! 

Throughout the night I heard cats fighting and dogs barking and anticipated the early bird "can't-tell-time-for-nothing" rooster crows. 
This bunk-bed rest was just as I had remembered.
It was oddly comforting.



It was beautiful!

It was so incredible to be back! 

But dang, it was so hard!

    I didn't want to be a visitor.
    I didn't like being a visitor.
    I wanted to be unpacking in our new home. 
    You know... The one we've been praying for.
    For 2 years now. 

I cried a lot those first few days.
As I unpacked the most recently packed suitcases, I realized that I needed a heart adjustment.
That...or this trip I had anticipated for the last 6 months was going to be miserable. 

I gave my heart a little pep talk because.. 

And I thanked God that although I wasn't there under the means I desired, that I was there none-the-less.

I visited with friends, I loved the GH canines, I ate incredible Haitian food, I drove in insanely frustrating traffic, I ate REAL mangoes and non-store-bought coconuts, I spoke kreyól with peeps who extended grace in more ways than one, I used mosquito repellent like after-shower lotion again, and I wore tanks and shorts in January!

Pure bliss.

I sat on the roof and rang in the New Year with my one and only (after a wonderful meal at the McHouls).

I prayed over and held little miracles!

And we even got to spend some one on one time away with our first-born (for the first time in years)! 

Y'all, it was so wonderful!
But despite the amazing things, there was still hard reality. 

This was a photo message I got from the girls one day. Though Caleb and I got to travel to Haiti the day after John and Cabila left Mississippi, our girls didn't get to go with us. 

I was in Haiti but our #6onajourney was missing 2.

As I dug through our things that we left behind, I literally wept. 
I pulled out stuff that belonged to our girls and I cried til I couldn't even see what I was looking at.  

I remember the hopes that were bigger the day we packed them.  

Everybody had specific spots where they wanted to unpack their stuff, themselves. 

I dug until I couldn't dig anymore.    
    "What now, God?  What are we supposed to do now?"

I got caught up in the details. 
I wasn't hopeful for later, I hurt right then...down deep. 
I closed the top to the box.

I tried to make sense of what needed to be held onto and repacked vs. what could be given away that someone else might be able to use while we were still in this horrific holding pattern. 

    And then, honestly, I just stopped.  

Have you ever prayed and prayed, and waited and waited, and still you see no evidence of an answer? Are you tired of seeing no movement? 

Are you at the point of giving up? 

Then perhaps you have not waited in the right way, which removes you from the right place-

the place where the Lord can meet you.

"Wait for it patiently" (Romans 8:25). 

Patience eliminates worry.

Patience eliminates weeping.

Why feel sad and discouraged? He knows your needs better than you do,

and His purpose in waiting is to receive more glory through it.

Patience eliminates self-works.

"The work of God is this: to believe" (John 6:29),

and once you believe, you may know all is well.

Patience eliminates all want.

Perhaps your desire to receive what you want is stronger

than your desire for the will of God to be fulfilled.

Patience eliminates all weakness.

Instead of thinking of waiting as being wasted time,

realize that God is preparing His resources and strengthening you as well.

Patience eliminates all wobbling.

God's foundations are steady, and when we have His patience within,

we are steady while we wait.

Patience yields worship.

Sometimes the best part of praiseful waiting is experiencing

"great endurance and patience.....joyfully" (Colossians 1:11).

While you wait, "let all these aspects of patience have her perfect work"

(James 1:4), and you will be greatly enriched.

~C.H.P.

Digging and Flying

I've done a lot of digging lately, both in Scripture and in some old journals.  

When I'm 'stuck' I find it encouraging to look back and see how God has proved Himself faithful time & time again. 

I've found lots of photos in my recent exploration, too!

This one was taken 4 years ago on a little plane (like in 12 seats!) in Haiti.  I couldn't help but think about that time we sat in the cockpit, when reading this devotional from the year that followed in The Word For You Today..

    "Did you know that most small-plane crashes are not caused by mechanical failure but pilot error? In most cases the pilot was not instrument rated, so he or she depended on two things that can fail you.  Let's look at each: 

     1)SIGHT. As long as the pilots can see roads, bridges and landmarks, they can fly safely. But when the storm comes or the fog locks them in, they're in trouble.

     2)SENSES. In aviation terms the problem is called "vertigo". If you blindfold a person, sit them in a revolving chair, spin it around for several moments, then stop the chair and ask them in which direction they're spinning, they couldn't tell you with certainty. There's a sensitive device in our head that's like a carpenter's level. The force of the spinning sends the "bubble" as far as it can go to one side. When it can go no further it begins to return-even though the person's still spinning in the same direction. So they have the sensation of stopping and beginning to spin in the opposite direction, but it's only a sensation. If they were not blindfolded and could see, they could ignore those sensations and would have no difficulty knowing in which direction they are going. It takes many hours of training in simulated storm conditions to develop the ability to confidently fly by the direction of your instruments and ignore your sensations of vertigo. 

    Understand this: as a child of God you must not be led by your sight or by your senses, you must be led only by the Scriptures."

It was cool to sit in the pilot's seat that day (as you can tell by the incredibly cheesy grin on my face!) but there is no doubt in my mind our flight would have ended terribly if John and I had tried flying that plane. We were not instrument rated. 

Since that time, our training hasn't been with any aircraft so we still aren't instrument rated in that regard.  However, we've had many hours of training while 'flying' through some pretty fierce storms...some that left us spinning and unable to see where we were going.  

In the middle of the storms, when we're fighting vertigo, it's so tempting to make decisions and choices based on our sight and senses. 

John and I still haven't mastered flying (on the ground, of course) but praise God He's still faithful through our attempts to ignore our flesh reactions and follow His Words. 

"Our God who has proven Himself faithful throughout the years is always with us. Because His character doesn't change, in our fear we can say with a confident voice of faith, 'The Sovereign Lord is my strength!' (Habakkuk 3:19)." ~Pho Fang Chia 

What storms are you facing? 

What scriptures have you found to be instrumental so you can 'fly' safely?

"I heard and my heart pounded,

my lips quivered at the sound;

decay crept into my bones,

and my legs trembled.

Yet, I will wait patiently...

I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength..."

Habbakuk 3:16-18