Trusting beyond the good times..

Last night, I had the opportunity to chat it up with 2 of my favorite high school senior girls.  During our Amplify small group time we discussed some comical things but also some serious, anything-but-comical things… one of our discussion questions was this: ‘How does it make you feel knowing that everything in the world, even the bad things, are under Christ’s power?’ based on Colossians 1:15-18.  All 3 of our answers varied as I’m sure was the case in several small groups… it’s hard to understand that even the hard things/the bad things are under His control.  For me, this is where trust trumps understanding. 

Trust is defined @ dictionary.com as: confident expectation of something; hope.  Being honest with myself and with you, I’d have to admit that I haven’t always been able to say I trust God with the hard stuff… I felt as though I had to maintain an intense grip on the hard stuff so I could assure myself the least amount of pain.  BUT, as we stubborn people learn, we are not capable of such assurance and cannot govern our own lives without falling flat on our faces from time to time.  :/  I was once a pro at ‘mask-wearing’ and ‘wall-building’.  I could act like everything was ok outwardly, while battling a constant misery inside – feeling completely out of control in the midst of my striving to ‘keep control’.  When I honestly admitted to God that I had trust issues, even with Him, I slowly released my grip and invited Him to govern where He already was, sure He was tempted to say, 'what took you so long?'.  :)  Anyway, I found (and am still finding) that it’s only in giving my expectations, my desires, my fears, my heartaches, my 'lack-of-control-even-when-I-want-to-control' self to God that He provides extra strength that I need to make it through these hard and even ‘bad’ times. 

I am currently surrounded by people and circumstances where hurting is very real!  You are, too, more than likely.  So, do I believe that God is a cruel God because He isn’t just “fixing” these things?  No, not at all... I believe, I choose to trust that even though I beg and plead with him on behalf of my own family and so many others that HE IS working the best plan whether I am ever able to see it or not.  And that trust is something I have to renew daily (sometimes hourly) by feeding on His promises.  

See, sometimes God changes circumstances, but sometimes He doesn’t.  A lot of times in my own life, I seem to hear him say that He WON’T remove said situations or circumstances, but that He WILL be with me and WILL give me the stamina I need to get through them.  He gives me more strength than I ever thought possible when I am relying on His unending supply.  I may never fully understand Paul's words about God’s power being “made perfect in my weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9) but I believe it because I can testify to this very thing.  When I feel like I cannot go one more step, His power moves my weakness to the next spot.  And then before I know it, one more hard thing is behind me.  

My call to surrender continually confronts my desire to control.  I suppose it always will but I am grateful that my God loves me right back to His better way every time! 

This week, I found a random piece of journal paper where I had copied this a few of years ago…

“There are times when, even as Christians, we make plans without God. Sometimes it’s to distract us from pain and sometimes we just stubbornly choose to go our own way. But whether our decisions are large or small, our Heavenly Father should lead us every step of the way. Our confidence should always be placed in the Lord instead of our own plans.

 Psalm 62:5-8 says, ‘Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

Maybe you’re tempted as I am (still) to put your hope in people, health, rest, status or the ‘perfect’ job, finances or peaceful circumstances but today, I would challenge us both to put our hope in the ONE that will not disappoint… the ONE who promises rest and life to the fullest…the ONE who knows best what we need, even in the hard/bad times. 

 “Look around you and be distressed,

look within you and be depressed.

Look to Jesus, and be at rest.”

- Corrie ten Boom

Embracing Life

My mind is flooded this morning with thoughts of Jana… this is the first day I haven’t been with her since Monday.  You can read more about her and her ‘cantankerous other half’ here.  (smiles)

It tore me up to leave Jana yesterday…I couldn’t help wondering if I was telling her “see you later” for the last time (on earth) but I also hesitated because I didn’t want her to know I was leaving her and I know she did.  With that said, I do not think I am this super important person that she can’t make it without… that’s not it at all because that girl has one of the most loving & attentive families that exists and she’s been surrounded by the greatest friends and family throughout the week, with or without me!  No, I just didn’t want her to question for one minute how important she is to me! 

Anyway, I mustered up the strength and I left…  I drove out of the driveway and fought tears all the way to the stop sign, to the red light, through the green light, etc.  I turned on my music and began to sing with a broken heart to the One that I know really knows my every thought, my every desire and who knows my friend better than any of us.  And then I saw a butterfly… it was the pretty, solid yellow kind… it was fluttering around as I drove on.  It wasn’t long before I noticed another butterfly and then another and then another.

I know butterflies mean different things to different people but to me, butterflies signify life.  When launching my photography business back in 2007, I advertised with business cards that had Caleb’s (my son) picture holding a butterfly and my business was named, Capturing Life.  

Since that time, butterflies have held a special meaning to me and throughout the years I’ve been amazed to see these creatures at opportune times when I needed some ‘happy’. 

So, back to the butterflies during my drive..... I decided I’d count them.  I got to 8, 12, 17, 23…and then I saw 2 together, playfully fluttering around.. I smiled and then I saw another.  This was unreal!  I was up to 38 and then 42.  I saw 2 together again and then 3 together and by this time I was laughing!  I continued to sing and then I stopped singing and just listened to the songs that were playing.  Suddenly this dreaded drive was pleasant.  My count was up to the 50's!

Some of you will think I am completely cuckoo (others of you have always thought that-ha!) but I’m going to say this anyway---  I really believe God sent those butterflies to me.  They were beside me, they were over me, they were in front of me, they were behind me.  They were each a reminder that He is always with me and that He is always working to bring about LIFE.  While we may see that Jana’s body is dying, she is NOT.  She is a child of the King and while her earthly body is shutting down, her spiritual body is gaining strength.  I believe that God is preparing her mansion as I type this.  Her crown with many jewels is going to be a sight to behold!  I have no doubt He is going to greet her with the embrace that compares to no other and that He will say to her, ‘good job my beautiful daughter… you were, indeed, my faithful servant’!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.  There’s far more here than meets the eye.  The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can’t see now will last forever. ” Chapter 5 goes on to say, “We know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven –God-made, not handmade –and we’ll never have to relocate our ‘tents’ again.  The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead.  He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.”

I am not ready for Jana to leave earth but knowing that the celebration that awaits her with her King is being planned makes it sweeter to a degree.  I can’t wait for her to be able to RUN to His arms and sing in His presence with the angels.  And I thank God for those butterflies yesterday!  You know how many He sent all together on my way home????  74!!!!!!  74 beautiful butterflies!

Oh God, “I am sleepless..I spend hours in grateful reflection,  Because you’ve always stood up for me, I’m free to run and play.  I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady…” Psalm 63:6-8 

Technical stuff...

As promised, here is some "technical information" from the head of '5.on.a.journey', 
      --> John... :)   

Pastor Frank (pictured on the right) 

and his wife, Nicole (shown here with orphan, Dalinda), 

started the orphanage in Camp Coq, Haiti several years ago. One of the sayings that the Haiti mission teams learned from Nicole is, “Missions is not easy!” While that is true, we are beginning to discover that 'Missions is not cheap, either'.

So many people look at Haiti and think that in such an impoverished nation that buying things should be cheap. Like any island nation, most everything must be imported to Haiti, which automatically increases the price. The people of Haiti are also masters of free enterprise and take full advantage of the law of supply and demand. You can see both of these being applied in our blog post from our trip in June, here: Our Trip to The Market and.... The cost of paper products still blows my mind @ $9 for a 3 pack of paper towels or $17.75 for a 24 pack of toilet paper.

While we were amazed at the number of people who immediately wanted to know how they could help out when hearing that we would be moving to Haiti to serve as missionaries, it was really hard to know how to answer at first. We honestly didn’t know what it was going to take to get us there and get set up. I have worked with multiple sources to put together a list of basics to get us going. I have tried to list the numbers as accurate as possible, but some things we just won't know until we are in route. The best example of this is customs “fees”. There is no set rate.  They basically look at your container and access a rate. We've heard of actual customs fees for containers ranging anywhere from $3,000 to $10,000 each. We have been working with a logistics company that was started by a new friend, an American "missionary kid" from Haiti. We are praying that with his resources and personal contacts, we will be able to keep our costs to a minimum.

As of now, this is a list of the current financial needs for our mission:

-              *A solar panel system (since there is no electricity in Camp Coq) to ensure power for our family’s basic needs. This will power a refrigerator, a few fans and some lights. The total cost of this system will be ~ $20,000.

-              *Shipping our supplies to Haiti. We will be sharing a 40 ft cargo container with another ministry. Our portion of the container will cost ~$3500.

-              *A water well (for clean drinking and bathing water). We have been told that the minimum cost for a well will be $10,000

-              *Supplies/tools to stock the mission house in preparation of future mission teams. The bulk of this will be for tools that will help us with future construction projects.  This will allow teams to have the items they need to work with, without having to travel with them during each trip to Haiti. The approximate costs of these items will be $5000.

-                *Vehicle shipment - We will be shipping one of our vehicles to Haiti to ensure that we have safe and reliable transportation there. The approximate cost of this will be $3000.

We ask that you pray with us over these items and that the $ needed will be provided for us in order to effectively and efficiently minister in the community of Camp Coq.  

If you would like to make a tax deductible gift to help offset these costs, you can do it online or by mail. To give online, go to http://mylifebridge.com/onlinegiving and follow the directions listed there. You may enter the amount you want to contribute under the 'Haiti Missions Support' section and then click continue. It will walk you through entering your financial information. If you would like to mail your gift, please send it to LifeBridge Church, Attn: Haiti Missions Fund, 521 Gluckstadt Road, Madison, MS 39110. Many of you have already made contributions towards our Mission Plan and we want to say thank you again!  We are extremely grateful for you and your gift(s).  


As noted in one of our devotions recently, Chris Hodges said, “A dream is a compelling vision you see in your heart, that’s too big to accomplish without the help of others.”  We covet your prayers, still!  Thank you for journeying with us!!!