So today is
my weepy day apparently… L
Maybe it’s because today is my sweet Winston’s
birthday and I’m missing it for the first time in 15 years.
Maybe it’s because I don’t feel all that
great today and I have nowhere to go to be alone. Maybe it’s selfishness and the desire for some
familiar comforts. Maybe it’s
discontentment because we don’t have a vehicle and our list of needed items
keeps growing. Maybe it’s pride because I’m
tired of having to ask for things I need instead of being able to go get them
myself. Maybe it’s because ‘our’ new
home is still not ‘put together’ the way I wish it was. Maybe it’s because I give all day long every day
and I just need to be still and fill up on God, myself. Maybe it’s a combination of all of it or
maybe it’s just because I am tired. Maybe
I’m just hormonal!
Whatever it
is, I’m grateful that God accepts and loves me even on the weepy days. I’m grateful that I don’t have to be ‘put
together’ to approach my Father that already knows how I am feeling before I
even confess it. I’m grateful that He is
enough when others (and even I) let me down.
I’m grateful that I can fall apart whether I have my own secret place to
do in it or not. I’m grateful that my
ears can hear the sweet voices singing “How Great Thou Art” from the school
this morning. I’m grateful that all of
my children have food to eat each day whether it’s what they want or not. I’m grateful that although I miss my pets so
bad I ache, I can take comfort in knowing they are being loved on tremendously
and taken care of by some awesome family and friends! I’m grateful that we have a place to call
home whether it belongs to us or not. I’m
also grateful for the family who so graciously opened up this home for us! I’m grateful that although I’m not sure when I’ll
get to see my family again that I HAVE family who loves me and prays for me
daily.
Oh God, heal
my heart and make it clean! Open my eyes
to be able to see the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you love me…quickly, please…I’m empty…
Continue to
break my heart, Lord, for those around me so that I will keep moving to do your
will. Everything I am and everything I
have is yours. Help me continue to surrender
myself even on these less-than days. Give
me fresh perspective through my tears.
There is great healing in these tears, I know. You’ve proved that over and over again.
Thank you
for not only hearing my requests but inviting me to bring them to you. Let me feel again what it is to be held… to know
that your promise was when everything fell, You’d be here to hold me. Tear down the walls that I’ve constructed. Refuel my hope, God. When I feel and remember the things that were
torn from my life, help me dwell on what I’ve gained and not on what I’ve
lost. Remind me, O God, what you called
me here for. Enlighten the eyes of my
heart today. Thank you that you “WILL
keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You.” (Isa
26:3)
“O Lord, you
are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness
you HAVE done marvelous things, things planned long ago.” Isa 25:1
Thank you,
God, for the parentless that walk through this gate yelling, “Mommeeeeee…where’s
Doddeee????” And for the sweet sponges
that want to learn more English so they can talk to us in our own language! Oh, God, thank you for bringing me here even though
I miss the comforts of home. Thank you
for allowing me to feel! Thank you for
the love notes I still find in my Bible!
Thank you for the handwritten notes from home..for the reminder from my
sweet nephew that you said in Philippians 4, “And my God will supply ALL your
needs in His riches in Christ Jesus”.
For your
nearness, Lord, I hunger! In your
nearness there is healing… restoration in it’s fullest. Oh, God, be near today! Nearer, Lord!
I need to keep hearing from You… Your fullness is mine… “How you have
helped the powerless! How you have saved
the arm that is feeble! What advice you
have offered to one without wisdom! And
what great insight you have displayed!” Job 26:2,3 Thank you that I can claim words written
thousands of years ago as my own! Thank
you that I belong to you, apart from the things I do and the thoughts I
think. Thank you that your love is such
a love I can’t escape!
You are
gracious, Lord! Every hour I need you! In joy and in pain, I need you. Bless me now, my Saviour, as I come to You… I
praise you that temptations lose their power when you are near. Take this heart -so often of stone- and make
it yours, God! I delight myself in the
riches that are Yours, trading ALL that I have for all that is better. Please accept my garment of praise, take my
heaviness, God. You are the greatest… you’re
the richest! You are so much better,
God, than anything I know as good!
Thank you
that although I crave alone time, I am never really lonely! You are the God of love and you sent your one
and only Son to be with me at all times and in all places! May I NEVER downplay that! I am never lost no matter how far I am from the
home I’ve always known. Thank you that wherever
we live on this earth it’s only temporary because you are preparing a place so
much greater than we can imagine in our eternal home with you!
“I’ll stride
freely through wide open spaces as I
look for your truth and your wisdom.” Psalm 119:45
