Bending...

A month ago, a snippet of my journaling/quiet time looked like this...


"Trust Me to show you what to do when you have finished what you are doing now.  I will guide you step by step - as you bend your will to Mine.  Thus you stay close to Me on the path of peace."(Jesus Calling)

Lord, I know you said, "And you, my child will be called.... to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace" in Luke 1, but a lot of days I feel like we are the ones in need of a light...  someone to shine on us... especially when it feels like we are living in darkness.

I felt weak for feeling like that.... for feeling needy... for feeling inadequate... for feeling like I just couldn't give anymore... for feeling like I was the one that needed to be ministered to.

I doubted my ability to keep going.  I felt defeated.

I needed clarity.
I needed purpose.
I needed hope.

    I still do.

But something has become clear to me in the darkness this past month.

     As we draw close to the source, we gain clarity. 

And it's in the darkness that we realize we were created to need the light....

...and we are able to see that in our weakness, we are right where we are supposed to be.  

We were never meant to be the light for others without first being bent toward the Light as mentioned in Psalm 27:1, "The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear?" 

We see that our purpose is in fact to walk with Him and to fall into Him when we just can't go any further.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the mentality that as Christ followers, we are here to minister without taking time to be ministered to.  But I would argue that we can't possibly minister to anyone else unless we are being ministered to.  Not catered to but ministered to... and not just every once in a while but regularly!

We can only be an instrument through which others encounter Christ 

to the degree that we encounter Him ourselves.

Although self-sufficiency is rewarded in the world, God created us to rely on Him.
John 15:5 says, "I am the vine, you are the branches.  If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." 

When we're feeling over-extended or like we've hit the wall in our journey, thinking we just can't keep going, it's time to LET GO.  And REST IN KNOWING that we were never meant to be the strong one.  God chose you and He chose me, although weak, so that His STRENGTH can be evident through our honest weakness.

"The moment you obey the light of God, His Son shines through you in that very adversity; but if you debate with God, you grieve His Spirit.  You must keep yourself in the proper condition to allow the life of the Son of God to be manifested in you.  Our circumstances are the means God uses to exhibit just how wonderfully perfect and extraordinarily pure His Son is." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Our journeys in life were never meant to be about us but about the One who gives us life.  Even when life is sometimes dark.

Senyé, 
Ala nou kontan 
se pa nou k'ap kenbe ou
men se ou k'ap kenbe nou.

Lord, 
How glad we are 
that we don't hold you,
but that you hold us.