Pray for Austin…

I’ll admit... when I had a breakdown some 30 minutes ago, my thoughts were, “ok, it’s time to ask for back-up..it’s time to let your guard down, Dawn, and let them know just how weak you are..it’s time to quit acting like you are strong when you’re not and it’s time to open up and ask for help..”  Anyone who knows me, knows I can’t stand the words, ‘I can’t’ but after the last week I had and the starting of this week with a 1am wake-up to severe abdominal pains and other abdominal issues that resulted in a 2:45am ER visit leading to the 2^nd IV in 7 days and more blood work and more scans and more “everything looks good.. we’ll send you home with more medicine for the nausea and pain(7 hrs later)” I teetered on the verge of ‘what-the-heck-is-next & I-just-don’t-have-the-strength-to-do-this-anymore’.

Then as I fumbled through my messages after being without media for the last 20 hours I read an email asking for prayer for a little guy named Austin.  He’s suffered over the last 5 years from seizures.  Seizures that have gotten worse and more frequent… He has as many as 80-100 life threatening seizures a day.  80 to 100... life threatening... can you even imagine?  I can’t!

So, I'm asking for your help... as you think of me and our family this week will you do me a favor?  Will you pray for Austin?!?  This Friday, Austin goes in for his 3^rd brain surgery & I’ve been asked to pray that the surgery will stop the seizures from traveling from one side of his brain to the other causing “drop seizures” (any one which could be fatal).  Please join me in praying for him, for his parents Kurt & Kelly, for his siblings McKenzie & Hunter and for the surgeons.  While this surgery isn't supposed to eliminate the seizures, God is limitless!    

“Christ said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me…For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

There's a reason...

Satisfaction isn’t defined by whether or not my stomach is full (& not hurting) or whether I’ve had anywhere close to 8 hours of sleep or not.   There’s a reason I cannot find satisfaction in this world. 

Comfortable isn’t defined by my choice of clothing or the temperature in the room or even in the ‘comfort’ foods/drinks I choose.  There’s a reason I’m uncomfortable. 

When my surroundings are “perfect” but my heart is discontent it’s because I’ve searched in the wrong places for fulfillment, for satisfaction, for comfort.

I’m stubborn… I don’t think that’s ever been a question I’ve had to ponder.  Sometimes, it takes me a little longer to figure things because of that stubbornness.  I know that 1+1=2 but I’ve tried several times to get more than (2) out of that equation by working harder when I need it to equal 3 or more.  Anybody else ever been there?

It’s in these times, flat on my duff, that I hear better, it seems…  (I’m that sheep that has a broken leg and is being carried around the shepherd’s neck so I can hear The Shepherd better, I guess).  I’ve pleaded with God to prepare us for this upcoming move and to show us details that we need to be concerned with and to spare us from the details that we don’t need to be concerned with but I think I’ve spent too much time working like this move depends on me/us and not trusting enough that He’s got EVERY detail worked out with or without me.

So faithful, so constant, You are so powerful in all that you do, LORD… nothing I do surprises you.  I get it wrong so often & yet you love me all the more.  I know that you are FOR me.  I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness!  Thank you!  Continue to remind me, I pray, that you’ve got this.  You’ve got everything about this… the big, the small, the scary, the exciting, the happy, the sad, the sacrifices, the abundance, what we will leave behind but also what we stand to gain!  Thank you, for writing on my heart, this great plan to GO.  Thank you for entrusting me to wear your name today…  I fail so many times to get it right… instead of pulling the plug and picking someone else to do what you’ve called me to do, you encourage me to get up and try again.  Thank you, LORD!  Thank you for believing in me, for giving me YOU to believe in.  I have tried to find peace & happiness in this life through many different avenues… some led me straight to You (the key) but some couldn't have been further from you.  All the while, You were there.  That gives me assurance that no matter what we may face you will continue to be with us.  I know you haven’t called us to walk this journey alone but I continue to struggle with flesh.  Flesh produces fear and fear produces doubt.  Squash that doubt, I pray.  The more I seek you, LORD, the more I find you.  Thank you for showing me BEFORE I get to the other side of the world that it isn’t in a comfortable home that I find satisfaction.  It isn’t even in a family that I adore… it’s in You and YOU alone, LORD, that I find what I am looking for… EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!

Update on Dawn

Thank you so much for your prayers today and for your calls, texts, emails, etc.  Your encouragement means so much to us!  At this point we are waiting to get results back from some biopsies that were done during the Endoscopy.  Dawn is tired and still fighting nausea but she’s confident that “this, too, shall pass.”

Just another bump in the road...

To say that today was anything other than the way I planned would be a slight understatement. 

To spare you lots of details, I’ll get right to the point… 2 appointments today with 2 “new-to-me” doctors & now I (yep.. it's Dawn) am scheduled to have a routine (but one that involves needles, anesthesia and a long scope) procedure done in less than 10 hours.  The procedure?  Upper Gastrointestinal Endoscopy…  Though I am at peace & I would love to get some answers & some relief, I’m not looking forward to the procedure.  I’d love to know that you are praying WITH us and that this is, indeed, just..another..bump..in..the..road!   

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9

This guy

Today I am extremely grateful for this guy named John. 

Not just any guy… this John, who I believe was created to be my mate for life… John, who sold his mountain bike to buy Winston (our first dog) for my birthday 14 years ago…John, who encouraged me to start my own photography business after the seed was planted… John, who says he enjoys when I talk his ear off late at night whether he really does or not…  John, who sees when his wife is on her last leg and somehow swoops in to pick up the pieces EVERY TIME… John, who puts some action behind ‘family first’ regardless of criticism from others… John, who says ‘you go to New York again and enjoy your time with your friends’ while offering to keep all 3 kiddos for 6 days (again)… John, who agreed to let me take Sam (our large Great Pyrenees) in the same vehicle with the 5 of us and all of our things for a 5 day trip to Mom & Dad’s house in March for the birthday celebration BECAUSE it was Sam’s birthday, too… John, who knows how stressful shot day is for each of his children but even more stressful for their mom and doesn’t think any less of me because of it… John, while knowing how stressful shot day is- deemed today Father/Daughter Day so he could accompany Ms. Kylie to her 5 yr check-up & in exchange for being ‘a big girl’ while getting her finger pricked and 4 shots in one day will treat her like the princess that she is… John, who encourages me to keep going when I am scared to death I don’t have what it takes… John, who partnered with me, ready to go through whatever we may face as a team… John, who isn’t satisfied with staying the way he is but constantly seeking ways to be a better father, husband, friend, etc… John, who... loves... me!

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”     I Corinthians 13: 4-8a

Easter dresses & Tennis shoes...

Here’s a photo of our family from yesterday.  Look at my smallest princess sportin’ her Easter dress and, yes, her tennis shoes!  Isn’t she cute?!?  This is not something that I can say would have been ok any other year than this year… it’s not because 2012 is the year for ‘anything goes’ but it is because her mom is embracing the truth that what the world says is acceptable and even expected is a farce. 

For some of you, this won’t mean anything but for those of you who know that I(Dawn) have for-the-longest-time struggled with perfectionism and the lie that won’t die… the one that tells me I have to have it ALL together to be who I need to be… you’ll be able to celebrate this Easter dress & tennis shoes with me!!!   J

Perfectionism is way overrated!  For years I have cowered behind the lie that God can’t use me or love me unless I am perfect.  While I realize that there is no perfect person (only Christ, himself), I’ve felt the drive to be perfect for as long as I can remember.  What an exhausting way to live!  As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until I was just too exhausted to keep trying that I began to adopt the mindset that I was never created to be perfect but to experience a life of upward growth and maturity.     

Growing up in church, one of my favorite hymns as a child was “Just As I Am”.  Today I am grateful for the words from that old hymn.  While these words are a bit different, the message is the same in Lecrae’s present day mix, “Take Me As I Am”:

‘Ya purpose on earth is far from worthless       That’s why you’re glorified like your life’s been purchased     And it don’t matter if the world don’t see us            We still mean the world to Jesus’

Life is about moving forward and backward.  With God’s help, my forward steps will far outnumber my backward steps!  There will always be some who can’t take me as I am but that’s ok.  I know the ONE who does & guess what???  HE wants YOU just as you are, too. 

I Corinthians 1:31 says, “So then, as it is written, Let him who boasts and proudly rejoices and glories, boast and proudly rejoice and glory in the LORD.”  Today I boast….  I am changing and it is good…  I am acknowledging small steps of progress and giving Him all the credit.  God is doing some amazing stuff in the Chappelear home!  Today, we boast in HIM!!

Big Dreams..Big Teams...

“When God calls someone He always calls others to stand with them.  The greater your dream, the greater your team must be.”  

   Today I want to say thank you!  Thank you to our support team who has partnered with us on this journey to Haiti.  Thank you for the words of encouragement, the perspective-changers when we can’t see past the negative some days, the tolerance-whether you understand or not- of my(Dawn) not wanting to discuss our pets and what will happen with them at this point, the assurance that we aren’t doing this thing alone and especially the constant prayers that give all of us the fuel that we need!  

    I am amazed at the number of people who have stepped up in the attempt to make our dream a reality.  (Wow, you go God!)  I am blown away regarding the Barbeque Benefit that Leigh Ann Howell is heading up on our behalf.  Confession: I felt weird about, personally, inviting others to the event that was set up on FaceBook but being that I have wise friends who remind me that #1) it doesn’t matter what others think!-J! And #2) this event is for God’s glory, not ours… there’s no reason for me to feel weird about spreading the word SO I gladly hit the share button this morning and sent invitations like crazy!  Ha!  Please let me know if you would like more information on this, BTW!!!

    While I don’t think it’s possible to thank each of you, specifically (because I’m sure some of you have offered up prayers and done some ‘behind-the-scene’ stuff that we aren’t even aware of), please know that we are extremely grateful for your obedience to God’s nudging in your own life as we seek to answer the call He’s placed on ours!  Dr. Larry Crabb said, “A vision we give to others of who and what they could become, has power when it echoes what the Spirit has already spoken into their souls.”  We know that having the right people beside us plus the blessing of the LORD means we will accomplish more than we can even dream possible!  So, thank YOU!