Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Open up and say Oooowwwwww....

There's a "mobile dentist" in town this week so today was dental day for lots of kids and adults in Camp Coq!  Some were treated for the first time ever!

Gaelle was up first!

 

Kitty MiMi is smarter than she looks....she was certainly curious but she was not about to get too close!
  
All of the patients were prepped with a peroxide rinse...


Shots were given....

Electric tools were powered by a generator...

And tools were sanitized by fire...




Here's one section of the waiting room.....


John did a great job keeping some of the younger crowd entertained with fun on the iPad...

  

  ...and I gladly offered to take care of Baby Lens while his mom had work done on her teeth.

  

He's one of my favorite little guys here!


Speaking of my favorite guys.... Cabila had his first dental visit today...  He was a trooper!




He handled it all much better than his mom would have in these circumstances..... J


Lots of curious friends watched but some kept a 'safe' distance...


 And tonight our girls had a dental clinic of their own...




 We want to say a special thank you for the funding for today from the Jana Ward Webb Memorial.  Jana wanted to come and serve personally in Haiti but she was not healthy enough to be able to do that.  Today her memory lives on as she did serve many people by giving them an opportunity to receive medical treatment they couldn't otherwise afford!  I look forward to the day I can squeeze her tight and tell her again what a difference she made in my life and in so many others today!


Monday, February 24, 2014

Papa Bondye

I'm not sure if these videos will actually load and if they do, the video quality is less than optimal but wanted to share a little taste of what church is like for us here in Camp Coq...


Who says church can't be fun?!?



The girls were sick yesterday but you can see Caleb with several of his friends here and Cabila is in the back...

Papa Bondye nou fè lwanj ou!  (We praise you, Father God!)

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Tell me again...

"Mamaaaa... I had a nightmare..."
       "What?"
Leaning against my bed as if her strength was failing she said again, "I had a nightmare!" (nevermind the fact that she hadn't even been asleep yet...)  "I had to get up at 58,"  she continued.  "I rolled over and it was 58 o'clock and I didn't know what to do."

She went on and on for a minute and then she said it...
"So, I think I just need to sleep in your bed."

      I resisted the urge to laugh out loud as she gave me the 'please tell me that you are falling for my sad, sob story' look.
I sweetly but precisely denied her request just before she said, "...but I neeeeeed to sleep in your bed...  I need to sleep in the middle."

      "But sweetie, Daddy is already asleep in the middle and you need to go to your bed."

We went back and forth until she could tell that I wasn't giving in and then she said,
"OK, well in this dream, I want you to come tell me goodnight."

      "Go get in the bed and I'll be there in just a minute to tell you goodnight... again..."

"I'm just going to wait for you right here."

      "I can't tuck you in and tell you goodnight if you aren't in the bed, silly...  go get in the bed..."

"But Mama, there's a lizard in my room...
  But Mama, my back hurts...
  But Mama, I want to stay with you... I wanted to stay with you... I wanted to stay with you... please take a deal..."

      "Take a deal?  what does that mean??"

"That means let me in your bed...  my bed is bumpy...  I need just a little bit of water."  As she held her hand up to show me a "little bit" the list went on and on.

      I gave her a sip of my water and off we went...

"I want to give you a hug... will you sqwuush me?
      "No, silly" I said.
"Please, sqwuuuussh me.....!!!"
      I hugged her with a tight squish, she giggled and then I quit.
"Sqwuuuush me again!"
      "No, cause you laugh so loud and you're going to wake everybody up."
"I promise I won't laugh if you will just sqwuuush me again...
 (giggles erupting)

I went back to bed and barely got comfortable before I heard, "Mama, I don't think I feel like going to sleep tonight.  At 5:00 we go to bed...  at 2 we don't...  at 3 we get up...  at 4 we..... so can you tell me goodnight again?  So, you can come in there one more time and tell me goodnight...
Pleeeease, please mama... Can you come right now?

Tucking her in again she said, "Mama, I just don't feel like going to sleep just like Moses didn't feel like going to sleep.  He was a baby and Jesus put him in a basket and"..... dah ta dah ta dah and on and on and on....


As parents, we wear out, right?!?  Somedays I can go a little longer before losing my steam but I. ALWAYS. WEAR. OUT.  I'm so glad that God never does.

In today's Jesus Calling devotional, He reminded me of this, "Dawn, Your awareness of your constant need for Me is your greatest strength."  Sounds kind of backwards, huh?  "Your inadequacy presents you with a continual choice--deep dependence on Me, or despair.  The emptiness you feel within will be filled either with problems or with My Presence.  Make me central in your consciousness by praying continually.  Keep on asking and you will receive, so that your gladness may be full and complete."  (1Thess 5:17, John 16:24)

The truth is I need Him every day, all day and sometimes, I even get up in the night and say, "Tell me again, God.....  tell me again that you are close... tell me again that everything is going to be alright... tell me again that even when I'm squirming, you are hugging me tight... tell me again that what I am looking for is going to happen...  tell me again that it's ok for me to let go...  tell me again that I will never fall beyond your reach... tell me again that the very things you fought for - love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness will win out in the end...  tell me again that I am not reaching for nothing...  tell me again that although we may face disappointments, it is purification...  tell me again that my waiting is not in vain...  Oh God, tell me again...


Thursday, February 20, 2014

When 'I know' becomes 'I don't know'...

We got some discouraging news yesterday so today we got up with a little less "umph" in our step.  In my quiet time this morning I remembered this cartoon that Caleb and I used to watch when he was little called, Higglytown Heroes.  Maybe some of you remember it, too.....


It told the story of 5 friends (models of Matryoshka nesting dolls) who explored their city and the people in it.  Each episode showcased a problem that needed to be solved in the community and introduced a hero that helped formulate a plan to solve the problem.  The series "encouraged involvement in the community" and was a means "to inspire children to consider the importance of individuals who contribute to the world and make it a better place".  Aside from being a little creepy because the kids were made like nesting blocks and could fit inside each other, it was really cute and taught lessons of friendship along with problem solving, too.  

One of the characters was a cute little girl named Twinkle and when the town was faced with a problem she would always come up with this grand (but really 'out there' game-plan).  She would say, "I know, I know, I know..... we can.........".   All of her friends would smile and tell her that while it was a great plan, they didn't think it was going to work.  Then a specific hero of the town would be introduced to help solve the problem.

I'll be honest with you... I don't think of myself as a hero in life but I am guilty of trying to formulate a plan when I find myself in the middle of a problem.  

When things happen that turn my world upside down, sitting still is not my natural 'go-to' plan of action, for obvious reasons.  My first response is often to find relief - sooner than later.  

In the midst of our current trials, we've been so tempted to run to God on numerous occasions and say, "I know, I know, I know............. let's try this".  It's so obvious that while my human mind and my heart want to be able to embrace a solution, God is the only hero that has the solution for me.  

We will fail, we will fall, we will hit dead ends and we will hit walls but God loves us too much to leave us there.  

I believe He is working a great plan for me.  He is working a great plan for you.  

When we are discouraged, we can't stay there.  We have to get up and praise Him over and over again and in that we will gain clarity.  We don't have to figure out how to solve the problems we are faced with.  We just have to listen and obey.  

"...the sheep listen to His voice.  He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.  When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice." ~John 10:3-4

Sometimes we are crippled with fear... scared to death to take another step for fear of more pain or for fear of doing it wrong or fear of missing the mark but we CAN go forward even in our fear KNOWING that He is leading us.  He is GOD... He is the navigator and He will let us know if we are headed in the wrong direction.  HE WILL!  

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." ~Isaiah 30:21

I know we aren't the only ones struggling right now.  So many of you, I know personally, are struggling with your own problems and you, too, are in such great need of relief.  Oh, that we would stop exhausting ourselves in trying to get that relief and just tap into the Ultimate Source. 

"Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord
our Maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture,
the flock of His care.  
Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts..." ~Psalm 95:6-7

"Look at the nations and watch-and be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5 

So once again I'm here at "I don't know..." but it's ok because He knows and that's enough... again...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Dominos, Pizza Hut & Papa Johns

Aside from the names in a couple of my recent posts, I'm not craving fast foods and take-out pizza but I did recently think about calling a pizza guy... (smiles)

I've done a whole lot of praying lately about specific stuff but in studying about prayer, I've learned a lot of specific stuff, too.  I don't think there's a wrong way to pray and I don't think there's a wrong time to pray.  I do believe that our hearts might not be in the right place each time we pray but I think it's true that God wants us to take everything to Him in prayer.

Sometimes we are tempted to steer clear of prayer or to take a break from praying because our thoughts are not "Godly".  Maybe we think that we have to "dress up" our words or our way of living so that He will listen.  Maybe we believe that we have to have a certain formal language to enter into conversation with God but I really think that God is more interested in real, honest prayers than He is the formal, pretty, put-together prayers.

When we are happy, He wants us to tell him about it.  When we are sad, He wants us to tell him about it.  When we are scared to death, he wants us to tell him about it.  When we are excited, he wants us to tell him about.  When we are so mad we could spit nails, he wants us to tell him about that, too.  He's big... He's God... He can handle it all...

Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

One Sunday a few weeks ago, we sang an old hymn at church.  I recognized the tune before I understood the words since they were in Creole.  I remembered it from childhood.  It's called 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'.  The lyrics say this:
  1. What a Friend we have in Jesus,
      All our sins and griefs to bear!
    What a privilege to carry
      Everything to God in prayer!
    O what peace we often forfeit,
      O what needless pain we bear,
    All because we do not carry
      Everything to God in prayer!
It's so true...  we hold so much and we carry so much that we were never meant to carry because we believe the lie that we just can't go to God until....... (fill in the blank).  Even if we aren't ready to let go of our fear, our pride, our lack of trust or even guilt, we begin to see ourselves through God's eyes and we get to know His heart when we go to Him in prayer.  He encourages us to go to Him just as we are.  You can read more about that here: http://www.gotquestions.org/come-as-you-are.html

Taking what's on our hearts to God is rewarding and even required as a child of His but I don't think it stops there.  When we are honest before God, we offer up our feelings but a lot of times we take expectations with our offering.  Right?  We expect Him to do something with our offering or to reward it.  Oftentimes, we want a "fix".  We want relief or we want more or maybe we just want answers.  We want something in return.  Like when we call and order take-out pizza.....  

      "Thank you for calling Dominos... may I take your order?"

      "Yes, I'd like order.......... I'd like one pizza with thin crust
        and one with stuffed crust...  I'd like to add
        extra toppings to the thin crust but
        I only want cheese on the stuffed crust.
        And can you add (2) orders of cheese sticks?
        But don't overcook them cause I like them squishy....."

This may seem funny but how many times do we call God and talk to Him like he's a 'pizza guy'?  

What would happen if we called God to actually get to know God?  

If I called Dominos and instead of placing an order said, "Hi, it's Dawn...  I just wanted to talk to you... I want to get to know you better so tell me about you....", it probably wouldn't be long before I'd hear a click and then a dial tone.  But what if instead of calling God with an order each time we pray, we stopped to just listen?

"Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God himself who gives the answer.  Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track.  The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer." ~My Utmost for His Highest

It's so easy to lose sight of the fact that God IS working in our everyday lives and even in the people around us when our focus is only on getting specific answers or specific things.  

Prayer is not about trusting God's will to my will and saying, "I want this or that".  But it's being willing to let go of my will in exchange for His will, which is always better (not easier, but better).  It's about aligning my will with His and letting go of my plans and accepting His.  

It's through obedience and doing the thing God has placed right in front of us that causes us to see Him and His will.  So unless we are calling Dominos or Pizza Hut or Papa Johns, let's try to do more than order when we call God. 


"Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to Him." Deuteronomy 30:19-20

"Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance..." Proverbs 1:5

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Undone

Today I sit in the midst of many emotions.  We’ve had 6 weeks to process some major life changes but I still can’t wrap my mind or my heart around a good bit of them.  What was proposed to us as a business decision in early January quickly turned personal as we were asked to leave Camp Coq, Haiti and I’m really struggling with how that makes me feel.
I completely understand that the house we’ve lived in the past 13 months is not our own but being asked to leave a community that we love is hard, especially when it’s not even the people we live in community with who are asking us to leave.  I hate that we have to leave but what I hate even more is the ugliness that has come about because of it. 
We understand that monetary commitments change; we don’t understand how personal commitments change so dramatically in such a short period of time.
We understand that funding comes and goes; we don’t understand how relationships dissipate so easily. 
We understand that some decisions are hard to make; we don’t understand a lack of compassion when carrying them out. 
We understand moving on; we don’t understand teaching real, relevant, relational while being silent, cold, and absent.
We understand people don’t always agree but we don’t understand an end with no disagreement.   
We understand a body of believers “doing what you have to do” but we don’t understand how a leader says,  
The value of your work cannot be overstated, and we cannot fully express the depth of its appreciation to you and your family for the meaningful differences you have made to the many Haitian people with whom your paths have crossed.  Rather, this adjustment is being made primarily because of the many challenges inherent for a local church trying to function as a missions-sending organization." 
and then a fellow "friend" from the same body says, 
John will receive a very good severance package from the church which will allow the multiple choices - stay in Haiti(but not in Camp Coq), come back to MS (but not to LB), or some other foreign location ministry.  I went to Haiti after you arrived and I was disappointed in what I have seen and what has been accomplished since. I had high hopes for your mission but it is time for it to end. My prayers are with you as you make your choice for the future. I also pray you have forgiveness in your heart for the people who had to make a tough decision about your future. It is now time to close and let you think about the choices you made and the choices you will have to make. I hope to see a blog post soon telling everyone you will be moving on.  
As I sat in church this morning, I watched as Kylie and Kinley danced with their friends.  I watched as Caleb laughed and sang with his.  I smiled as Cabila sang to God with his hands raised and my heart flipped with both delight and also a great deal of sadness.  I wanted to freeze time for a bit...for their sake but also for mine.  I find myself hanging on things lately… things that until 6 weeks ago were just ‘normal’… things that soon won’t be normal anymore. 
Looking around at church, I thought about so many who accepted us right from the beginning while some took a while to warm up to the idea of having ‘the white family’ in town.  We’ve been so blessed to get to know these people here, both children and adults, alike and I know that our friendships won’t end when we leave but I am really struggling to let go. 
When we packed our things to move from Mississippi, it was a little scary but it was a happy time.  Although we were sad leaving friends and family behind, we were pumped about the move and we were full of joy and excitement.  As we are packing to leave Camp Coq it is very different.
I’m not sharing any of this with you for a response.  I am writing to process where I am and to ask you to pray for me. 
I am confused…  I am torn…  I am sad…  I am scared… I am nervous… I am anxious…  I am disappointed… I am undone.
People are divided as they’ve faced choosing sides and quite frankly I hate that there are sides at all.  I’m struggling with questions I don’t have answers to.  I’m angry that people are fighting when I don’t even know why the fighting started.  I’m angry that our very real enemy is seeking to rip open a body 'for the sake of Christ'.  This is why I shared Battle Cry a month ago  people are being hurt while a very real enemy is seeking to kill, steal and destroy. "

Friday, February 14, 2014

The heart at Chick-fil-a...

A couple of years ago I stopped at Chick-fil-A's drive-thru between running errands one afternoon.  It was one of those days when I was thinking that if I could just make it 'til bedtime all was sure to be better the next day.  I ordered my chicken sandwich to go and mentally ran through my list of things still to be done before I could even anticipate bedtime.  

While I was waiting, I mumbled one of those, "Oh Lord, please help me and please give me an extra dose of you right now," prayers.  I got my order and moved out of the way to 'dress' my sandwich before heading to the my next stop.  I smiled and then started to cry (happens in my stress sometimes) when I noticed that the chicken was in the shape of a heart on the bun.  Strange as it may seem, I saw this as a personal message from God.  Yes, I believe He was speaking to me through the chicken... 

It was just the reminder that I needed that all was going to be fine (eventually) and that my current stress wasn't going to last forever and that above all, God loved me through and through.

Since that time, I've seen lots of hearts in all sorts of shapes and sizes and in all kinds of media and I'm reminded still that He is in full control.  At just the right time, I get these sweet messages that help move me towards finding the right perspective.  

When we trust in the Lord, He gives us a new heart and He puts a new spirit in us.  I've seen lots of hearts in Haiti made of stone or like material.  What a great reminder that as God promises to remove our heart of stone, he renews our heart and He puts His Spirit in us and moves us to follow his instructions. (Ezekiel 36:26)  

As I continue to look for the personal messages that God sends me, I want to share some of these that He's given me while I've been in Haiti.  Valentine's Day seemed like a good time to do so.  (smiles)







"If from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him 
if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul."  ~Deuteronomy 4:29


 
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~Proverbs 4:25



"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~Jeremiah 29:13


"A cheerful heart is good medicine..." ~Proverbs 17:22



"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not 
on your own understanding." ~Proverbs 3:5


"I run in the paths of your commands, 
for you have set my heart free." ~Psalm 119:32


"Create in me a pure heart, O God, 
and renew a steadfast spirit within me." ~ Psalm 51:10 

 


"It is with your heart that you believe and are justified." ~Romans 10:10 


"...do the will of God from your heart." ~Ephesians 6:6


"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, 
as working for the Lord, not for men." ~Colossians 3:23


When making dinner one night, I dumped the butter out into the pan and couldn't believe it looked like a heart...

 
...as the heart melted, another heart formed!

I believe that God wants to use our hearts to represent His heart (Luke 6:45).  I also believe that as we go through heart change so that His heart is the one that is visible the world around us might be uncomfortable with us and our stand.  We see in Romans and in 2 Timothy that we are called to be set apart, to be different especially when we are doing what God calls us to do.  Our enemy wants to convince us to stop right when the Lord has us ready to go but I am encouraged to continue on because, "God who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as He did to us." ~Acts 15:8


"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms 
and carries them close to his heart." ~Isaiah 40:11


"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God." ~John 14:1


"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart 
be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, 
my Rock and my Redeemer."  ~Psalm 19: 14



~~ When all else fails, trust HIS heart! ~~


Saturday, February 1, 2014

One step.....

"Follow me one step at a time.  That is all I require of you...."
(Sarah Young ~ Jesus Calling)


This is one of my favorite photos from Kylie's first birthday.  (smiles)  She was still a little wobbly in her walk but she was so eager to learn how to move.  

Today's Jesus Calling devotional made me think of this photo and how my leading Kylie was a lot like Jesus leading me, except He does it so much better!  

"You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights.  Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now.  As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead.  But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow.  Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains.  There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance.  If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways."  

Lately I've prayed, 'God, please don't allow us to miss what you have for us right now while we are trying to gain clarity about the next thing.'  This was such a great reminder that without stressing over the next, I can enjoy right where I am.  There may be more turns and some sharp turn backs but I don't have to navigate, I just have to follow.

"Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My Presence.  Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you."  

Jesus can and does assure us of so many things that we can only dream about for our children.  I will never be a perfect leader for my own children but what a joy it is to know the perfect One is leading me.

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7