Sunday, March 23, 2014

Everything

This morning we went to church and though we got the start time wrong and were late I think we were right on time for the message. 
Within minutes of sitting down, the pastor said, “You may have money, you may have food to eat, you may have a house to live in, you may have a vehicle to drive but if you don’t have Jesus you have nothing.  In the same way, if you do not have money, if you do not have food to eat, if you do not have a house, if you do not have a vehicle but you do have Jesus, then you have everything.  You can have all the things of this world but if you don’t have Jesus, none of the things matter.”
Living in a country where the majority don’t have the things the pastor mentioned this morning made his message all the more powerful. 
I've prayed for weeks saying, “Jesus, I know you are enough…so please physically BE ENOUGH.  Over and over again I've thought of the words from a song that I sang/prayed during my first visit to Haiti, called "You're Everything".  I shared some of the lyrics and thoughts in a post during that trip here:  No Way, José
Praying for Jesus to be my everything takes on a new meaning when I am again finding myself without some trusty everyday things I've grown accustomed to.  
Today in Jesus Calling it said, “When you entrust the details of your life to Me, you are surprised by how thoroughly I answer your petitions.  ..your faith is strengthened as you see how precisely I respond to your specific prayers.  Because I am infinite in all my ways, you need not fear that I will run out of resources.  Abundance is at the very heart of who I am.  Come to me in joyful expectation of receiving all you need - and sometimes much more!  I delight in showering blessings on my beloved children.  Come to me with open hands and heart – ready to receive all I have for you.”
God, alone, is our Provider.  Oh, how we are seeing that…
He will continue to provide for us as we continue to press into Him.  When we are at the end of our resources, He has only begun to show us His.  As His children, He takes pleasure in providing for us.  But how can we accept such gifts and blessings when we fill our lives with all the ‘something elses’.  As we loosen our grip on what we perceive as security, we find that we are introduced and can embrace true security. 
Through tears this morning I praised God for His compassions…for His mercies…for His unending provisions and it occurred to me that for the first time I can relate to those we have grown to love over the last year in a whole new way.  While I learned to live in Haiti without some comforts from the States, I still had luxuries that so many others around me did not have.  I had the privilege of living in a house with a roof and I even had my own space…a room with my own comfortable bed.  I had enough clothes that would allow me to go a week without washing at times and a place to store those clothes, too.  I had food to eat each day and soap to clean the dishes we ate on. 
While I thanked God for His provisions for us in Camp Coq, I worked to encourage those who didn't have such luxuries to thank Him for the provisions in their lives, too.  And as we left the place we called home last week, I reminded those we love so much that the same God that had been providing would continue to provide for all of us even though I couldn't tell them where it was tangibly going to come from.  I pray that as I see my Savior through more similar circumstances as they do, that He will continue to remind me that no earthly circumstances can interfere with what He has in store for each of us. 

“How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.  They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.  For with You is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.  Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart.” Psalm 36: 7-10

Friday, March 21, 2014

For such a time as this?

Our children ask questions almost daily that we don't have answers to.
Family and friends continue to ask questions that we don't have answers to.
Our own minds race with questions that we don't have answers to.

All are legitimate questions but none-the-less, questions that we just can't answer right now.


We went snorkeling earlier this week and though my unusually queasy stomach made me dread the boat ride that took us to the island I am so glad I went along.  There was such peace in the water.  I swam out by myself and tapped into a form of worship I rarely get to enjoy.

As I looked around, I saw fish and shells and coral and plants and I couldn't help but praise the God who made it all.  The water was so clear!  No matter where I swam I could see the floor.  I couldn't easily touch the floor in the deep but I could see it.  It was a floor that never ceased.  I was amazed at what I saw in the deep and I am amazed today at this current "floor" of peace that exists in my life during this uncertain time.

I can't tell you where we will be in a week much less a month.   I don't wake up each day automatically grateful for this phase of life.  I can't say that we are just one big happy family, greeting obvious change with smiles on our faces through it all.  And I realize that we may never get answers to some of our questions on this side of heaven but underneath all the questions I do feel a weird, yet, settling peace.

A peace that piggy-backs hope, I suppose...  
     "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him."  Psalm 62:5

A peace that doesn't make a bit of sense...
     "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

But a peace that reminds me that although I don't have answers to our questions, God has purposed me (and my family) "for such a time as this".  (Esther 4:14)

I can't imagine what thoughts and questions must have gone through Esther's mind as she heard the words, "who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"  I am in anything but a royal position in the world's eyes.  We are at the mercy of friends right now to even give us a place to sleep but I know this..."His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." Psalm 147:10-11  The same God that made the waters that I reveled in earlier this week holds our every day and as I continue to let go of the things that I cannot control, I believe He is working in me.  I believe that when I cannot give my children an answer other than, "God knows and He is trustworthy", that not a single day will go by in vain.  

I was able to swim out into the deep this week because of the equipment I had.  And I am able to keep "swimming" now because my hope is in Him who promises me that He is my salvation.  "I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." (Isaiah 12:2)  He was my salvation yesterday when we were stopped 4 times to show vehicle papers during our 7 hour car ride.  He is my salvation today as I wait on further direction.  And He will be my salvation tomorrow and every day that follows until I rest in His physical arms.

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.  Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument.  Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath.  God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."  ~Hebrews 6: 15-19

The anchor holds...
Even in such a time as this.....


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Treasures from Daddy

The beautiful colors of meadows in Spring
Autumn woodlands glow with fiery reds and purples
And in Winter the snow covered branches of trees
Give forests a roof of silvery lace
There's beauty in a bright, Summer flower
Splashed with sparkling raindrops.


Psalm 104:24 - "O Lord, how manifold are thy works!  In wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches."


On a bright sunny day when sunlight shines
Through the air light fills the sky
What a beautiful sight
A pretty blue sky,
God uses the sun to transcend some light

On a bright sunny day or a star laden night you can see God's beauty



I found this when I was packing books in the school room...  It was written by my Daddy and was tucked in a Childcraft book that was mine and my brother's when we were little.  Our kids have thoroughly enjoyed that set of books so it does pay to hang on to some things from generation to generation (smiles), but especially when there are priceless pieces of the past tucked inside.  I'm not sure my Daddy even meant to place this writing inside the book that was probably left open near the area where he was working many, many years ago but I know for certain that my Heavenly Father had a purpose in my finding it during our time of transition this year!

What an incredible reminder that yes, God is transcending light even in times of darkness.

I had the opportunity to go back to the top of the mountain with our boys before we left Camp Coq.  Though my Daddy couldn't be with me in person, I can't help but think about him every time I look at these images that portray a bit of the beauty that he described in his writing.










I am so grateful for parents that loved me enough to teach me about how much our very personal God loves us.  And the fact that they love God and radiate Him in their own lives is such an added bonus.

What an amazing God we serve.  Look for Him and you will find Him.....  (Deuteronomy 4:29)

Thank you, Daddy, for all the treasures you've given me!  I love you!!!




Sunday, March 16, 2014

And Now...

“Wounds caused by our own people aren’t the same as the wounds of an enemy.  We can’t chalk them up to random acts of unkindness.  They’re personal.  They are inflicted by people who know us, by people we believed loved us or at least thought kindly of us.  When it is not just our people but God’s people, the wound can gape wide open into a maelstrom of confusion. 
Alienation. 
Isolation. 
Shame. 
In the words of James, “These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters”(James 3:10b).  But unfortunately they are.  And they are probably to be expected in this unfinished world among unfinished peopled like you and me.
Praise God, we are not without remedy.  Nor are we without fellowship.  The Bible records a great cloud of witnesses who have been injured within their own community and put outside the camp in one way or another.  As New Testament believers, we will find that enduring this brand of pain is a profoundly impactful way we fellowship in the suffering of Christ.  For Him to have been tried and tempted and torn in all ways such as we have- yet without sin –His betrayer, Judas, had to come from His own close circle.  Betrayal betrays a certain camaraderie.  A relationship had existed that was then found dispensable.” (Beth Moore, Living Proof Ministries) 

While we know that God is in full control and works all things for our good (Romans 8:28), it was with heavy hearts that we squeezed necks and kissed faces and whispered “I love you’s” before leaving Camp Coq yesterday.

Today we enjoyed some family time at the beach and we are celebrating our sweet, spunky, full-of-life, incredibly-huge-hearted, oh-so-big 4 old year! 










No doubt God knew we'd need some extra joy when He created this little gift years ago and she has definitely provided that over and over and over again!!!  


Some friends have offered to let us stay with them for a few days near Port-au-Prince so we will go there later this week.  As always, we appreciate your prayers so much during this fragile time.  Please pray for our safety as we travel, for our health and for our hearts as we wait anxiously for some more answers. 

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."  
Ephesians 3:20-21


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

He knows...

I was prepared to hear her say she loved me.


I was prepared to hear her say that she would miss me.



I wasn't prepared for her to grab hold of me and physically weep out loud.


God knows Amelian's heart.
God knows my heart.
And He holds them both!


"Yesterday you experienced a great sorrow, and now your home seems empty.  Your first impulse is to give up and sit down in despair amid your dashed hopes.  Yet you must defy that temptation, for you are at the front line of the battle, and the crisis is at hand.  Faltering even one moment would put God's interest at risk.  Other lives will be harmed by your hesitation, and His work will suffer if you simply fold your hands.  You must not linger at this point, even to indulge your grief." - J.R. Miller (Streams in the Desert)

"Lord, You know that through our tears
Of hasty, selfish weeping
Comes surer sin, and for out petty fears
Of loss You have in keeping
A greater gain than all of which we dreamed;
You knowest that in grasping
The bright possessions which so precious seemed
We lose them; but if, clasping
Your faithful hand, we tread with steadfast feet
The path of Your appointing,
There waits for us a treasury of sweet
Delight, royal anointing
With oil of gladness and of strength.
~Helen Hunt Jackson



God knows.....










Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Launch out into the Deep...

We had the opportunity to go to the beach with John's mom and her fiancé last month when they were here visiting and we had a great time!





Today I enjoyed going back through photos from that trip and some from last year, too.  The beach has always been like a sanctuary for me.  Any time I am there I feel like I just can't get enough of God and all that He reveals to me.  And the way He speaks to me in that natural sanctuary is unmatched anywhere else.  It's like being on a retreat while soaking up more than just the sun.

Some of the photos reminded me today that we have a choice...every.. day.   Wherever we are, no matter our occupation or the number of people in our family; no matter our calling or if we wear suits or tank-tops to work; no matter our education or what language we speak, we must choose to proceed, either, in fear or in faith.

I felt peace as God reminded me that although we don't have a clue about what's waiting for us around the corner, He does.  And when I am tempted to hide behind fear instead of proceeding in faith, I miss some pretty cool things.  This made me think about Kinley at the beach.

She ventures outside her comfort zone a little more each time we get to visit there.  When we went last year, she was afraid to get in the water by herself.  She was content to play in her blow-up pool under the palm trees in her own little world.




But one afternoon she decided to venture out.... 
to test the waters...  

 

 And she liked it....
 
...as long as the water was calm.

 But when the water rushed in...

...she wasn't so sure about this new venture and she ran back to the shore.



Instead of rushing in to scoop her up and encourage her to try again, I sat back and watched as she worked through her fears, knowing that would help her the most.

It wasn't long before she ventured out again but this time, she went a little deeper.





As she moved past her fear of getting soaked by the waves, she started to have her own little party...



...and she was having a blast!  





Isn't this the way many of us proceed in our faith?  We get to a place in our faith walk where we feel like we're ready to go a little farther with God and we go, even if apprehensively.  You know, testing the waters...
We decide it's not so bad after all but sometimes we let our guard down a little and we lose focus when we are splashed by an oncoming wave.  Then we get a little freaked out and run back to our securities.  Securities like comfortable surroundings and familiar faces...whether they are safe or not.   

When we are fortunate to regain our focus, we get up and try again... this time maybe more determined to go a little farther, to trust a little more.  If we are walking with the Lord, we eventually see one of the most important factors determining our fear or faith and that is that He isn't sending us into an unknown all alone.  He never sends us on a journey by ourselves and simply tells us to call Him and let him know how it's going.  Instead, He promises to go with us...every step of the way...through the fire, through the valley, through the waters, through it all!  

During our last visit to the beach, Kinley decided she wanted to go even deeper...

 

...so with the help of her big sister, she set out to join her Daddy!




 And then she decided to try the dolphin ring!



As John encouraged her to try something new, she screamed, "No, Daddy... don't let go!" "I'm afraid!"

He assured her that He wasn't going anywhere and then he told her to try kicking her legs...



...within seconds she was laughing and saying, "I'm swimming!"
  

She squealed with joy!


I don't think she realized how far she had gotten because her focus was on her Daddy instead of the deep or the shore... seems like a great idea in the midst of situations that could cripple us into fear.  

So, here's to going deep...


..and expecting to experience some great new adventures!

I hope you will be encouraged to go deep, too, wherever you are!

Because when we follow His leading, whether into the unknown or just into something brand new, we can be assured that we aren't alone... God promises that He will be with us!  J



"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
'Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

"Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." 
Psalm 16:8  




Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving!

Aside from what you may be thinking, I am not completely crazy...  yet.. (smiles)

I do realize that today is in fact Fat Tuesday and not the actual calendar day for Thanksgiving but today marks a day of thanksgiving here... not here, as in Haiti, but here, in my life... an impromptu ruling so to say.

"The temptation to be anxious is constantly with you, trying to worm its way into your mind.  The best defense is continual communication with Me, richly seasoned with thanksgiving.  Awareness of My presence fills your mind with light and peace, leaving no room for fear.  This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see your problems from my perspective." ~Sarah Young in Jesus Calling

The words in I Thessalonians 5 echo this and cover so much more ground, too:

    *verses 16-18 say, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Over the last 2 months, thankfulness has not been the most natural response for our family but we are choosing to follow the instructions above even when we don't feel like it.  Some days we do better than other days.  Each of us are handling leaving a little differently as time progresses but over and over we face the lingering, "this is not good", from people in the community.
    
Oftentimes, we are all tempted to get distracted by what we perceive as bad.  The danger of such a perception is that it threatens to steal the good.
   *verses 21-22 say, "...hold on to the good.  Avoid every kind of evil."

Over and over I pray, 'Lord, protect us from temptations that pull at our emotions and even our physical needs right now.  Protect us from the temptations that call out to our sense of what we deserve, what we have the 'right' to feel.  You are the true source of all that is really life.  Please direct our steps away from all that is not of you.' (inspired by Bruce Wilkinson)

   *verse 24 says, "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."
L.B. Cowman reminds us in Streams in the Desert that faith is a necessity "but also of the patience required for faith's work to be perfected."  He said, "May we fear attempting to remove ourselves from the hands of our heavenly Guide, or missing even one lesson of His loving discipline due to our discouragement or doubt."

We've experienced discouragement and doubt and even fear because common sense tells us that our current circumstances are not good.  If we aren't careful, "common sense, covered with a layer of Christian emotion, becomes your guide." (~Utmost for His Highest)  When we give into the feelings of doubt and fear, we switch guides and THAT is what is not good.  Oswald Chambers goes on to say, "You may be more prosperous and successful from the world's perspective, and will have more leisure time, if you never acknowledge the call of God.  But once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God asks of you will always be there to prod you on to do His will.  You will no longer be able to work for Him on the basis of common sense."  

I admit that we are proceeding without common sense but with hearts overflowing with thanksgiving.

Many days we greet and are greeted with tears and while "evil never surrenders its grasp without a tremendous fight," we are so thankful for the lives here that have changed ours.

This morning Kinley came running into our room and said, "Mama, there's a leaf in the floor and it has legs and eyes and it's moving..." Now, before you snicker at the what seems like a vivid imagination, see for yourself....







I knew immediately what she was talking about because we've had other such 'visitors' since we've been here...





...but I couldn't help but think about the quote by Phaedrus, "Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden."

While this cool little guy does look just like a leaf with legs and eyes, he is not a leaf that just so happens to have legs and eyes.  The way God made him was not a coincidence and though we feel things could have been better orchestrated and handled differently, we know that our current circumstances are also not coincidental.  I believe in spite of how heart wrenching this is for us and so many others, carefully hidden is a grand plan that only a Master such as our very personal God can bring about.

   *verse 25 says, "Brothers [and sisters], pray for us."

I would love for you to do that...  I mean really do that...  call us each by name... John, Dawn, Cabila, Caleb, Kylie, and Kinley and also the families that we are reluctant to leave behind... and pray that we would all see the supernatural hand of our very real God in ways that we can barely comprehend.  Pray that through each of us, God will take more ground for His kingdom in this generation and in this country that He has not forgotten.  Pray for relationships that have been destroyed by the evil one and for eyes that can see the hand of the enemy and strength to stand against his schemes from this day forward.

"We never arrive at any spiritual inheritance through the enjoyment of a picnic but always through the fierce conflicts of the battlefield." ~Streams in the Desert  

While many have sized up the perfect plan for our family we know that only God knows at this point what His perfect plan is and we know that "when you walk with the Lord you won't just see what's happening around you, He will tell you what to do about it" even if in the last hour.  We don't have a 'go to' place right now and yes, our faith is stretched but growing.  We don't know anything more at this point than we will be leaving Camp Coq as instructed but we will not be leaving Haiti until God orchestrates that.

Luke 21:15 states, "For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict."

I am encouraged today because ----- things are not always as they seem.



"By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, 
that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to His name." ~Hebrews 13:15