Today I trust Him for today and tomorrow...

"My life is worth nothing...unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord." Acts 20:24

I'm kind of teetering today between excitement and sadness...  Pondering where I was this time last week, I feel warm and fuzzy inside, rehashing the memories of the sweet faces and the eyes that connected with mine.

Our time in Haiti last week was great, indeed!  I was sad to leave on Friday.  I could really get used to this going every month and being able to come home and share the experiences with my family & friends here, in the states, but I know that's unrealistic.  I'm anxious to begin our life there but being faced all over again with the fact that I have to leave my extended family and my pets (who are like people to me) when I get home tears my heart in two, still...  At times I feel like the walls are closing in... our days on earth are numbered, yes, but specifically our days here in the states being numbered feels more real now than ever before.

My brother received some incredible news 3 weeks ago... news that we've prayed for, for 4+years and I was out of town at the time.  When I got back into town, he was leaving town and although I was about to bust to celebrate in person over the great things God is doing, we weren't able to see each other before John and I left for Haiti that week.  When I saw him yesterday I almost squeezed the life out of him!!!

I am so excited for him and his new journey..God is doing some amazing work in both of our families..but my heart winced when reflecting on how hard it had been those 3 weeks and then realizing that those 3 weeks wouldn't hold a candle to going months or possibly years without being able to squeeze him in celebration of great news after we move.

It's times like these that I have to trust that my God knows best... my God has great plans in store for me and my family...my God loves me and only He can see how this transition will work and work well...my God has promised that although I may have to walk away from those I cherish to follow him that I don't have to lose my love or my personality to follow Christ and that there is NO greater version of me than the me that imitates Jesus!  :)  And that's exciting!

              I remember these words from the old hymn we used to sing when I was growing up:
                                       "Trust and obey... 
                                            for there's no other way...
                                         to be happy in Jesus... 
                                             but to trust and obey" 
And wouldn't you know that as I'm typing, Kari Jobe's song, "Steady My Heart" is playing on the radio---
        "You're here...you're real.... I know I can trust You...
         Even when it hurts, even when it's hard, even when it all just falls apart...
         I will run to You cause I know You are...
         Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars, YOU steady my heart!"

         I'm not gonna worry.... I know that You got me... right inside the palm of Your hand...

         Each and every moment... what's good and what gets broken...

         Happens just the way YOU plan.

                   YOU steady my heart!" 

Thank you, God, for the ways you love me uniquely and personally and for reminding me that YOU steady my heart without fail!  I trust You today and I will trust You tomorrow, as well!