There's a reason...

Satisfaction isn’t defined by whether or not my stomach is full (& not hurting) or whether I’ve had anywhere close to 8 hours of sleep or not.   There’s a reason I cannot find satisfaction in this world. 

Comfortable isn’t defined by my choice of clothing or the temperature in the room or even in the ‘comfort’ foods/drinks I choose.  There’s a reason I’m uncomfortable. 

When my surroundings are “perfect” but my heart is discontent it’s because I’ve searched in the wrong places for fulfillment, for satisfaction, for comfort.

I’m stubborn… I don’t think that’s ever been a question I’ve had to ponder.  Sometimes, it takes me a little longer to figure things because of that stubbornness.  I know that 1+1=2 but I’ve tried several times to get more than (2) out of that equation by working harder when I need it to equal 3 or more.  Anybody else ever been there?

It’s in these times, flat on my duff, that I hear better, it seems…  (I’m that sheep that has a broken leg and is being carried around the shepherd’s neck so I can hear The Shepherd better, I guess).  I’ve pleaded with God to prepare us for this upcoming move and to show us details that we need to be concerned with and to spare us from the details that we don’t need to be concerned with but I think I’ve spent too much time working like this move depends on me/us and not trusting enough that He’s got EVERY detail worked out with or without me.

So faithful, so constant, You are so powerful in all that you do, LORD… nothing I do surprises you.  I get it wrong so often & yet you love me all the more.  I know that you are FOR me.  I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness!  Thank you!  Continue to remind me, I pray, that you’ve got this.  You’ve got everything about this… the big, the small, the scary, the exciting, the happy, the sad, the sacrifices, the abundance, what we will leave behind but also what we stand to gain!  Thank you, for writing on my heart, this great plan to GO.  Thank you for entrusting me to wear your name today…  I fail so many times to get it right… instead of pulling the plug and picking someone else to do what you’ve called me to do, you encourage me to get up and try again.  Thank you, LORD!  Thank you for believing in me, for giving me YOU to believe in.  I have tried to find peace & happiness in this life through many different avenues… some led me straight to You (the key) but some couldn't have been further from you.  All the while, You were there.  That gives me assurance that no matter what we may face you will continue to be with us.  I know you haven’t called us to walk this journey alone but I continue to struggle with flesh.  Flesh produces fear and fear produces doubt.  Squash that doubt, I pray.  The more I seek you, LORD, the more I find you.  Thank you for showing me BEFORE I get to the other side of the world that it isn’t in a comfortable home that I find satisfaction.  It isn’t even in a family that I adore… it’s in You and YOU alone, LORD, that I find what I am looking for… EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!