It tore me up to leave Jana yesterday…I couldn’t help wondering if I was telling her “see you later” for the last time (on earth) but I also hesitated because I didn’t want her to know I was leaving her and I know she did. With that said, I do not think I am this super important person that she can’t make it without… that’s not it at all because that girl has one of the most loving & attentive families that exists and she’s been surrounded by the greatest friends and family throughout the week, with or without me! No, I just didn’t want her to question for one minute how important she is to me!
Anyway, I mustered up the strength and I left… I drove out of the driveway and fought tears all the way to the stop sign, to the red light, through the green light, etc. I turned on my music and began to sing with a broken heart to the One that I know really knows my every thought, my every desire and who knows my friend better than any of us. And then I saw a butterfly… it was the pretty, solid yellow kind… it was fluttering around as I drove on. It wasn’t long before I noticed another butterfly and then another and then another.
I know butterflies mean different things to different people but to me, butterflies signify life. When launching my photography business back in 2007, I advertised with business cards that had Caleb’s (my son) picture holding a butterfly and my business was named, Capturing Life.
Since that time, butterflies have held a special meaning to me and throughout the years I’ve been amazed to see these creatures at opportune times when I needed some ‘happy’.
So, back to the butterflies during my drive..... I decided I’d count them. I got to 8, 12, 17, 23…and then I saw 2 together, playfully fluttering around.. I smiled and then I saw another. This was unreal! I was up to 38 and then 42. I saw 2 together again and then 3 together and by this time I was laughing! I continued to sing and then I stopped singing and just listened to the songs that were playing. Suddenly this dreaded drive was pleasant. My count was up to the 50's!
Some of you will think I am completely cuckoo (others of you have always thought that-ha!) but I’m going to say this anyway--- I really believe God sent those butterflies to me. They were beside me, they were over me, they were in front of me, they were behind me. They were each a reminder that He is always with me and that He is always working to bring about LIFE. While we may see that Jana’s body is dying, she is NOT. She is a child of the King and while her earthly body is shutting down, her spiritual body is gaining strength. I believe that God is preparing her mansion as I type this. Her crown with many jewels is going to be a sight to behold! I have no doubt He is going to greet her with the embrace that compares to no other and that He will say to her, ‘good job my beautiful daughter… you were, indeed, my faithful servant’!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. ” Chapter 5 goes on to say, “We know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven –God-made, not handmade –and we’ll never have to relocate our ‘tents’ again. The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.”
I am not ready for Jana to leave earth but knowing that the celebration that awaits her with her King is being planned makes it sweeter to a degree. I can’t wait for her to be able to RUN to His arms and sing in His presence with the angels. And I thank God for those butterflies yesterday! You know how many He sent all together on my way home???? 74!!!!!! 74 beautiful butterflies!
Oh God, “I am sleepless..I spend hours in grateful reflection, Because you’ve always stood up for me, I’m free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady…” Psalm 63:6-8
Well said.
ReplyDeleteI may be cantankerous but I married well!
Indeed..... :)
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