I remember a piano book I had when I was 7 or 8 years
old. It was Greatest Pop-Hits or
something like that and in it was the song, “Feelings”… it was popular in 1975 but has been
recorded since then by different artists… you know the one-----> …..Feelings, Nothing more than feelings… Feelings,
wo-o-o feelings, wo-o-o-o fee-ee-lings... The past couple of weeks and even
the past 6+ months I’ve been tempted to try and avoid some feelings. I mean who doesn't love the feelings of happy times but who in their right mind welcomes hard, painful times?
When we embraced the call to move
internationally, I was tempted to pull back in some relationships to avoid
greater pain when having to say goodbye.
I even entertained the thought that ‘not investing in new relationships
would be smart’. I mean we only have a few months left so why start new
relationships that will soon result in more goodbyes…??? Then after a little time passed, I realized that by not pressing
into these relationships (old and new) that I’d be missing more good than I’d
be sparing ‘bad’. You might agree
or you might disagree but I don’t believe God wants us to be superficial in our
relationships. He created us to be
relational…both with Him and with others.
One of the first times I felt confirmation about God calling our family to pick up and move to Haiti I was listening to a speaker during a youth discipleship weekend that I was invited to attend-kind of last minute.. (last minute to me but right on time from the One who was working this great plan). At one of the meetings, the speaker for the weekend used a 3-legged stool to make a great point. He placed the stool on the stage and stated that each leg represented something different. He referred to the first leg as ‘conviction’, the second leg as ‘commitment’ and the third leg as ‘community’. When we feel convicted about something we either commit to follow the direction we’re given or we walk away from the prompting. When we make a commitment based on our conviction, we soon realize that we need community to follow through. During an illustration, we saw that without that third leg (community), the stool falls and so do we, along with our commitment.
It’s been amazing to see how God has placed community around our family as we've prayed for that, specifically, over the last 7 months. Sometimes we're tempted to avoid situations & relationships that will cause us to feel feelings that are less than pleasant. But I think we set ourselves up for failure when we try to go at ‘life’ alone or when we try to detour events just because they may cause us pain. While some people have rallied around us, others have distanced themselves from us since learning of our plans to move to Haiti. Maybe it’s because they don’t understand our decision to go but maybe it’s because they don’t want to get close for fear of having to deal with the pain that comes with saying goodbye… I don’t know, but I do get it. I don’t have to like it but I get it. While we hate that some relationships have dissolved, we are grateful for new relationships that have begun and for some ‘old faithfuls’, too.
As a lot of you know, I lost a really good friend a
little over a week ago to brain cancer and while I am ecstatic that she is in a
much better place and has no more discomfort, some of the feelings I felt in
the process of losing her were tough.
Could I have avoided some of those tough feelings by separating myself from
her during those weeks? Probably
so but then I would have regrets and I would’ve missed some great times,
too. Being with her throughout
this battle was amazing and heartbreaking at the same time. Being able to witness the most
beautiful attitude through the midst of such trials is not something I will soon forget. Although she couldn’t
talk for the last month and a half of her life, she said more to me than many
others do with a million words.
If I could offer up a challenge for the days ahead, I would challenge you and myself to embrace the times before us, not seeking to fly through today or rush past tomorrow and certainly not entertaining life in the past. As stated in one of my new favorite devotion books, Jesus Calling, "..live this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing all there is to do. Don't be distracted by future concerns. [EVEN THOSE THAT LOOK PAINFUL] Leave them to Me! Each day of life is a glorious gift, but so few people know how to live within the confines of today. Much of their energy for abundant living spills over the time line into tomorrow's worries or past regrets. Their remaining energy is sufficient only for limping through the day, not living it to the full. I am training you to keep your focus on My Presence in the present. This is how to receive abundant Life..." [emphasis=mine]
Thank you for continuing to follow us here on our blog, to pray for us as we continue to prepare for our move and to risk being in community with us. I do believe none of us will be disappointed in the end.
** "I praise & exalt & glorify the King of Heaven because everything He does is
right and ALL His ways are just." -Daniel 4:37 **
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