Today, in the midst of ‘normal’ daily chores and sorting (things we will need in Haiti, things we cannot take to Haiti, things we will sell, things we will donate, etc., etc.) I just want to retreat… I’m a mess and I know it. This morning I read this: “..when we’re surrounded by the demands, needs and agendas of others we can get spiritually depleted. And when that happens, we begin operating in the energy of the flesh.” I can totally sense the pull for operating in my flesh today and while I don’t want to, I’m slipping. I know this because things that wouldn’t ordinarily bother me are bothering me.. REALLY bothering me. The last several days have been packed with emotions… great ones and not so great ones. I know that things are a bigger deal when we’re tired and that after a 'high', there’s usually a 'low'. We’ve had lots of ‘highs’ lately so maybe that contributes to a big ‘low’. I don’t know but it’s times like these that I wish we could speed this process up and just go.. just skip over the 'last times' and the 'goodbyes' and the mandatory search for someone to love/house my pets (which I just cannot bring myself to do yet).. oh, to just blink or twitch my nose and it all be done. BLAH! I've said before that if the preparation doesn’t kill us, we'll certainly sail through the actual move… well, I'm definitely feeling that way lately.
ICK... I've typed and then I've erased… what if they don't want to hear that? what if my being real/transparent makes our family look bad? what if they think we're shallow or what if we sound selfish? what if.. what if... what if... I know....... I still struggle with what others are thinking way too much, knowing that the only one I should be concerned with is Christ. I don’t want to be perceived as ungrateful for all that’s being done for us in light of our move---we are completely in awe of such servant hearts surrounding us---and I don’t want to come across as complaining, either--there are others we love going through some really trying things right now. I’m fighting some flesh, for sure!
Ugh... I’m just going to close and ask you to pray. Please pray for our family… for unity, for protection, for peace. We started “circle time” on the first of August as a family. It’s not a lengthy time, just a time when we each tell God what’s on our hearts that day while holding hands in a circle in our kitchen. We even take turns circling the day on the calendar after we complete our circle time for that day. J As much as I love hearing these little prayers going up each day, I know that our enemy is outraged and wants to knock us off course. I'm feeling like I'm having to get back up more than I'm standing today so will you pray with us??
P.S. Several of you have said that you’ve tried to leave a note for us in the comments section but that it wouldn’t allow you to post here on the blog. I think the issue is now fixed so try again if you want to by typing your comment and then select “OpenID” or “Name/URL” under the ‘comment as:’ drop down and then hit ‘publish’. Then, John and I can both get the message you want to leave.
P.S.S. Thank you!
Praying for you every day. <3
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